please help I killed my newborn kitten

(((Amylou))) I am so very sorry for your loss. It was an accident. The little one knew love in his short life because of you. You meant him no harm. I know these words don’t help your pain, but please know people understand and care.
Cherish the babies, and comfort Cleo, you will be helping each other. You need each other.
You also always have the support of people here at TDK. (((Hugs)))

I too know this feeling.. And as KJ said it would be really good if you had a friend that you could call on to help you with this grief.. Please remember that these kinds of things do happen and horrible things happen even when we are trying to do good.. Unfortunately it’s the nature of fostering & rescuing cats… But the good times out weigh the bad ten fold.. You need to be strong for mammy cat and the other kittens now.. Please understand there was a reason for this .. She was needed in the meadow and she only ever felt pure love.. Better a short love filled life with you than out on the streets… You need to try and stay strong and continue to help others.. And believe me there are always gonna be kittens that need the help of a kind soul like you… <3 <3

sweetheart amylou, i have raised kittens, some of which died when they were young. as others have said, it’s very rare for you to have possibly crushed that kitten. you know, soemtimes mother cats take their kittens and place them somehwere apart from the others when they know they are not well and may not survive. they have intuition. this may have happened during the time you were knocked out. and remember also, you cannot be so bad! you took these wonderful creatures all in, and you did not abuse them. you are amongst others who understand and know you are not evil or bad and we doubt highly that you were at fault.

amy dear, i know you have gone through a traumatic experience, but animal control will not come and do anything unless they have proof that you willingly abused an animal. they will not come unless someone has called them and requested they investigate you or unless they witness you harming an animal. you’re quite welcome, and yes, it might be best to talk to the doctor or a therapist, it doesn’t make you crazy – it’s soemtimes reassuring to hear the words of comfort from a professional as well as regular people.

then yes, dear it’s time to see the doctor or therapist. it may be the help you need to get you over this tragedy! after you’ve had some therapy of some kind, even if it means some time talking to a therapist or doctor, something that you might want to look into as an option would be volunteer work in an animal shelter. even though i highly doubt you did anything wrong to begin with, helping other cats and kittens may help you cope with the feelings of guilt you bear. plus, it will help you gain more valuable experience with kitties, and it’s fun! i do it myself, and have for several years.

Amy, I have been a volunteer worker for the SPCA here in NZ and I can tell you, there is no way they would come and take your beautiful cat and kittens away from you. They are loved and well cared for and whatever happened it was a terrible accident when you were sick and on medication that knocked you out. The SPCA have enough trouble trying to find good homes for all the animals without them at the moment, they are not going to take much loved and beautifully cared-for animals away from a good home because of a tragic accident. The SPCA understand accidents, they happen everywhere, even in SPCA shelters, where every precaution is taken and safety and health always come first. That is very different from neglect or deliberate abuse.

I have also suffered from depression and can only tell you, please, go to your doctor, and talk to them. Reach out, you need a bit of help to cope with this tragedy and it is there, but you have to ask for it. Many {{{HUGS}}} to you, you are grieving and you need some help with it, that’s all.

I know this post is quite old, but i have to ask: did you overcome his death?

I’m just asking because i’ve been trough something similar. I lost my little baby because i slept too deeply with her in my bed. Such a idiotic mistake that could have been avoided.

It has been three months already but the pain feels like it was yesterday.

I feel like i always will feel like a murderer, and the worst part is that i killed the one i cared the most. She was an orphan and had me as her mother and that was how i felt about her, my daughter. I live alone for college and she was helping me out with my solitude. It hurts so much because i love her, and i miss her every single day and i feel guilty because she had just started her life out of streets (she was just 4 weeks old). She was so tiny but her heart was the biggest i’ve known so far. I never deserved to be her foster mom.

Please just ignore if anything’s wrong in my english.