I accidentally killed my kitten

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This topic contains 91 replies, has 47 voices, and was last updated by  Kit 5 years, 11 months ago.

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  • #30007

    sadandsorry
    Participant

    I just accidentally killed my kitten. I was walking outside my apartment when he ran underfoot and I stepped directly on his head. He died within 10 minutes after this. I’ve been crying and seeking someone to talk to about this. I know I didn’t mean to do it, but I feel terrible nonetheless. Within a half hour of this incident, I called the TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) hotline to see if someone would have a kind word for me and got the coldest of responses from a person who was only interested in dismissing me and getting off the phone as quickly as possible. The whole conversation took less than 30 seconds. The quickest of rehearsed prayers I’ve ever heard from a voice completely void of emotion or a kind word of compassion, then silence.

    I feel so bad about what happened. I have been raising three kittens and their mother since they were abandoned by my next door neighbors who moved out. I thought I was being a benefit to this cat family as no-one else would take them in, but now I feel terrible for what happened. The mother cat and kittens don’t seem afraid of me, they are as loving as ever, even though they were right beside the kitten when the accident occurred. I wonder if they now I’m responsible for this terrible accident.

    I am disabled and have been trying to find more appropriate housing for the three kittens (now two) and their mother for three months now, which is the age of the kittens since I took them in as they were just born when they came into my home. I can’t say how many organizations I’ve been trying to contact to see if anyone could help take them in, but they number in the dozens. Now, because of my disability, I see that I can be a real danger to them. If anyone knows someone who lives in the Los Angeles area who would be willing to help take any of these kittens, I would be extremely appreciative. I am disabled and don’t have a car to transport any of them which makes finding these kitties a safer home very difficult. Thank you for any help that can be offered.

    #466010

    AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew
    Participant

    Sorry to hear about the kitten, SAS. Unfortunately it happens at times 🙁

    #466011

    Annie R
    Participant

    SAS I am so sorry for your loss, please don’t blame yourself. You have been an angel to the momma and her kittens, that is why they are still loving to you. I don’t know about rescue groups in the LA area, but having access to the PC should help you do some research. Bless you for giving this little kitty family a home. {{{SAS}}}

    #466012

    katthays
    Participant

    SAS, I am so sorry for your loss, but it WAS an accident and these things DO happen…..I would feel the same as you, but it could not be helped….kittens are notorious for always being underfoot….this same thing happened to my friend’s son, when he was little he accidently stepped on a kitten and it did not survive. You are wonderful to rescue and love the ones you have! I live in WI, so I am no help, but I hope you can find homes for your kitts and please forgive yourself!

    #466013

    nawlins catmom
    Participant

    Dear SAS – Please do not beat yourself up over this, it was an accident… When I was young my father ran over my kitten with the car, because it had been sitting on the wheel in the garage… it is NOT your fault. You gave the kitten a loving home, and it is now over the Rainbow Bridge, happy and whole again. The rest of the cat family loves you still, because you have and continue to love and care for them… I wish you luck in your placement efforts, but do not think that because you have a disability you should not have pets – I am legally blind and find my cats a tremendoous comfort… {{{Hugs to SAS and cat family}}}

    #466014

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you feel badly, but accidents happen. I accidentally ran over one of my favorite cats with my young children in the car. I was devastated. Time will heal your wounds. Be strong for the mama cat and remaining kits. They still need you. It is ok. Don’t despair too much. Wishing you peace of heart.

    Tinafish from the birthplace of Elvis and the Rock n Roll gang.

    #466015

    ailuromaniac
    Participant

    SAS, Repeating what has already been said, accidents happen. Your disability, what ever it is does not make you a danger to your kitty family. If you are seeking to rehome the family for that reason, don’t. Your care and concern makes you an ideal kitty parent. They can get into enough trouble on their own even in homes of people without physical challenges.

    If you are seeking new homes for them for economic reasons to ensure they have homes as caring as yours who can better provide their needs, please consider keeping the Mom at least. As an adult she will be the hardest to place.

    It is more important that this little family be prevented from becomming a huge cat colony. If mom has not been spayed, she needs that immediately and the kittens should soon follow as they mature at about 5 months.

    Best of luck.

    #466016

    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Thank you everyone, you have no idea how much these comments mean to me. Strangely, though they make me feel much better, they also make me cry all the more as I read each of them. I think this is a reaction to everyone’s kindness, me being so overwhelmed by people reaching out in love to someone they don’t even know. I’m somewhat isolated where I live in the city of Huntington Park, Ca, since there are extremely few people here who speak English. Although the Internet may be a good way to connect with people, I don’t normally post comments on websites so The Daily Kitten is a Godsend to me. And although I still feel awful, I see the truth of your comments, that it was an accident. I feel this will be a life-changing experience for me, causing me to take stock of my life and make some changes. I’ve been considering my position here, stuck at home writing poetry and not sharing it with anyone. This will change. One of my poems I wrote only a couple of weeks ago is about a cat and I now feel compelled to share it: This will be the first time I have shared my poetry with anyone.

    The More Things Change

    I used to be a city cat

    Who was stuck inside all day.

    With little to do I grew fat;

    Oh how I longed to play

    And just have fun

    And lounge in the sun

    And carouse with other cats.

    But twas not to be,

    Not allowed for me,

    The chasing of mice and rats.

    I stayed by the window most of the time

    And saw the world pass me by.

    Never for me a fence to climb;

    I could only glimpse the sky

    Between buildings tall

    Where I wished to crawl,

    But this I was denied.

    I implored,

    But was ignored;

    I could never go outside.

    The window thus was my world

    And as I lay upon its sill

    I’d stay for hours tightly curled

    Staring through a grill

    At other cats fighting,

    It seemed so exciting;

    Why couldn’t I join the throng

    Of alley cats bringing

    Their full-throated singing

    That lasted the whole night long?

    I always tried to get out, of course

    like any smart cat would

    If not by persuasion, then by force,

    But it did me little good.

    I’d get caught straight away

    Without delay

    When I’d attempt escape.

    I’d never succeed to be free,

    Since I was in such poor shape.

    One day my world was turned upside down:

    I was put in the family car,

    Then as we drove away I saw the town

    Disappear in the distance, far.

    Through the car window

    I smelled the wind blow

    Strange odors through the air,

    Having no way of knowing

    Of where I was going

    Or what I would find when there.

    As we rode along I developed a scare

    Of the strange smell of horse and cow.

    Unaware when I finally got there

    That I’d moved to the country now.

    And countryside

    Far and wide

    I would now be allowed to roam

    To catch the sun’s ray’s

    All the summer days

    From the yard of my new home!

    But when summer passed

    Then winter hit

    And again I couldn’t go out.

    From my window seat I would sit

    And stare all about

    At the snow and sleet

    That fell in sheets

    In a constant pour.

    It was plain

    I was captive again

    And trapped inside once more.

    But eventually the cold snow and rain

    Let up and out came the sun.

    Into the great outdoors

    I’d go again;

    Into the fields I would soon run!

    For the snow was near gone

    And a new lawn

    Was starting to appear!

    But little did I know

    I would have to go

    Through this every year.

    Again, thank you everyone, and to the people who said I should keep the cats, you are right. The owner of my apartment complex told me not too long ago that I had to find new homes for my cat family since I live in a very small unit is his apartment complex, but he’s not that bad a guy and I bet after he finds out what happened he’ll let me keep them. And thank you to the person who said I should have the cats spayed and neutered, you are of course correct. There is an organization called the Feral Cat Alliance that I plan to seek assistance from which performs free surgeries for lower income individuals. The people who abandoned these animals were not responsible pet owners, but I am definitely going to be.

    #466017

    katthays
    Participant

    SAS, that was a LOVELY poem! You should share more with us and others! And if you could keep the cats or just one, I do think it would be a great source of comfort and company for you!

    #466018

    Annie R
    Participant

    SAS, I love your poem, I can just imagine that is exactly what an inside kitty is thinking when he/she is looking out the window ;o) Thanks for sharing your poem with us…. TDK is a great place to post and share, the folks here are very caring and full of great advice and perspectives. I am hoping that your landlord will see fit to let you keep your kitties, they are such great company. I am sending good vibes your way for that to happen. I have two cats myself, they are so awesome I can’t imagine being without them, if you click on my profile you can see their Catster pages. Welcome to the litter and keep us posted on how you are doing.

    #466019

    Karenopa
    Participant

    SAS…..It is with much sadness that you come to our ever growing family at TDK and so many of us have arrived in this very same manner, seeking understanding and peace. We’ve all found it here and so have you. Our Lord works in mysterious ways. Your poem is so outstanding……thank you so much for sharing it. I pray that you will continue to share your works with us….We love poetry!!!! God Bless you for caring for these innocent cats who chose you to be a part of their world. If it’s not a burden to feed and care for them, I don’t think a better home is anywhere out there. Sending prayers to uplift you and give you courage in all the choices you find ahead. {{{{{SadandSorry}}}}

    #466020

    Jeankit
    Participant

    Prayers for you at this sad time…special blessings too for you chose to care for a little kitcat whose time to leave for the Rainbow Bridge was early in its earthly life.+Peace+

    #466021

    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I’ve felt so isoltaed for so long. I don’t post on other websites, but I will continue to talk to you, my new family. I am a better singer songwriter than I am a poet and have written many Christian songs but have never shared them with anyone either. Many beautiful songs the Lord has given to me; it is time I shared them. I’m not tech savvy at all and this is new to me, but I am glad to have the advice I receive. I haven’t explored this website at all, but I will after this. Pretty much the only things I use the my computer for are to store my poems, Google searches of subjects I’m interested in and email to my mom, who has written a whole bunch of haiku poems, almost all of them only about cats so you can see where I get my love for animals.

    Another short poem

    Touch Mama cats little kits

    And I bet she’ll shred your hand to bits.

    Touch her babies without her permission

    And you’ll be needing a physician

    Pick one up if she resisits

    And you’ll need an anesthitist.

    Try to take one if you dare;

    I’ll visit you in intensive care.

    I wrote that one less than a week after Mama and babies came to live with me since Mama clawed and bit the heck out of my hand when I first brought her and her babies inside my apt when they were abandoned. I forgave her since I knew she was just being a good mother and didn’t know who was PICKING UP HER BABIES! Maybe this little kitten was an angel in disguise who in her passing is helping me become connected to the outside world. But I’m still devestated that I caused her so much pain, albeit unintentional.

    #466022

    Jeankit
    Participant

    Your creativity should be shared…have you ever contacted the K-Love Christian radio network…perhaps they would have some leads for you…

    #466023

    Karenopa
    Participant

    LOL…I loved that one too! Ahhhh..the words and wisdom of experience speak! Good job! Those mama cats are indeed ferocious….no doubt about it! =) Since you’re new to the site you probably don’t know that if you click on our avatar picture, many of us have a Catster page on another site that will show you all of our cats. Like parents of children….we all love to show off our babies pics! I’m really happy that you’ve found us and hope you’re here to stay. There’s so much to be learned and witnessed among of family. =)

    Oh..and when you’re finished looking at the pics…just hit your big back-up arrow at the top to find your way back here.

    #466024

    ailuromaniac
    Participant

    Don’t hide that light under a basket. You are a gifted poet which always extends to being a gifted lyracist. Send them to publications and keep sending them. Poetry Mags may not pay much. You may also get your music published.

    You do not want to be another Emily Dickinson.

    #466025

    MadcatwomanintheUK
    Participant

    Ha ha ha! Loved the second poem (and the first one too, but the second made me laugh out loud!)

    Welcome to TDK SAS, Im so pleased you’ve found us, but desperately sad over the circumstances. You’ll get a lot of support from TDK, and have a lot of fun too.

    #466026

    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    I am truly sorry for your loss but as others have said, it was an accident. It is obvious that you are a responsible and caring person to take on this cat family. Hope all works out for you.

    #466027

    So sorry for the accident–these things happen, and has nothing to do with your disability. Glad you decided to keep them, your love is so important. Your poetry is amazing, keep it up! And welcome to this loving community!

    #466028

    corzak
    Participant

    Welcome, sadandsorry, and I’m sorry it is under these circumstances that we “meet.” First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your kitten. Please don’t beat yourself up over it. And, I’m sorry you had such a bad experience calling TBN. I have found that some people just do not understand how important animals are to people like us. How sad that they would be so cold to someone reaching out in anguish. Please continue to post here…especially your poems! They are great.

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