How to bond to 2 sibling kittens?

Home The Daily Kitten Cat Chat Forum General Chat How to bond to 2 sibling kittens?

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #798877
    Isa
    Participant

    Hi, I adopted 2 sibling kittens and I don’t know how to bond with them. They are 8 weeks old but the person reassured me that they were fully weaned and their mom cat was ok with me taking them. She was so friendly I almost had a feeling that she gave me a stamp of approval to take them. But, the kitties just play with each other and sleep, which is fine because they are babies. However, I am not able to hold either one of them for more than 2 seconds- they run away, they don’t want to stay even for a minute, they don’t purr at all, which is strange to me. I have experience with other sibling kittens who were extremely affectionate (in addition to playing and sleeping). I’m afraid of raising anti-social kittens. They love to play with me (using toys and not body parts – I am very careful with that) but they only see me as a playing and feeding body. If I can’t handle them, how am I ever going to groom them or take care of them when they get sick? The lady who raised them (with the other cats she had) said they liked being picked up and the boy liked his belly rubbed. Well, I am yet to see it. Maybe I’m the wrong owner for them? Any tips will be greatly appreciated. I only have them for 4 days and they are very comfortable in my home.

    #798878
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    Is it possible for you to re-contact the lady that you adopted these kits from for some more advice and/or tips? I’m only suggesting this because I adopted my first kitty from a home and had absolutely no idea what I was doing, which does not seem to be your situation. The lady I adopted him from “talked” me through a lot of issues as did the vet tech and vet when I took him for his check-up, sort of a “Kitty 101” session.

    #798879
    Isa
    Participant

    Actually yes it is possible and I’ve been thinking about it. Thank you for suggesting it! She was very nice and I hope she’ll understand when I contact her again. I contacted her on the first evening after getting the kitties, just asking about their handling and sleeping preferences, etc. She said it was a very good sign and a big deal that they played on the first day. She thought it meant they were very comfortable. I did a lot of reading on kittens and cats but I feel I still know nothing when it comes to my own. Theory is much easier than practice.

    #798882
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    Glad that I could be of some help. There are other members who have lots of experience/expertise so you might even get some more tips. Your kits must be adorable and when they are more settled in you might consider sending in their pics to be featured as the Daily Main Kitten. Best of luck!

    #798885
    Isa
    Participant

    Thank you! I just figured out how to make an avatar, so you can now see how adorable they are.
    I hope I’ll get more tips from others; this site is fantastic and it is so nice to know that others can relate to the issues we may be experiencing with our kittens.

    #798886
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    They are beyond cute!!!! Little stripey tabby kitties!!! They actually look a bit like my Dorry when he was a kitten, he’s my avatar, grown up now. BTW I’m KJ and welcome!

    #798887
    jcat
    Participant

    I think it’s to be expected when you have two siblings who are already bonded that it will take a while before they look to you rather than each other for affection. You’ve got some great advice above from KJ. But also bear in mind that most young kittens don’t want to be picked up for more than a second — there’s playing to be done! — and many cats never like being picked up (in fact, most). If you think about it, being picked up from above is hard wired as a danger signal — in the wild, it would be bigger predators (hawks and other animals) that would be doing it.

    I think time will solve the problem, if you are around them when they are playing then you might find that a played-out kitten will choose your lap to crash on, and the other one might come and join them! Especially if you are sitting on the floor on their level and just happen to have fingers that have been dipped into some plain yoghurt or the odd yummy treat to give them. You could also try having a little one-on-one time with each one, playing and interacting. Every kitten is different and, as you say, you can read all the theory in the world, but in the end, your kittens will end up teaching you what they like. If all the grooming you can do right now is a quick ‘drive-by’ swoop with a comb or brush as they rush by, that’s fine for now, just get them used to it. If they collapse in your lap, pet them and try a a little grooming then, but just a little and often. If they really are still impossible to pick up or handle in a few weeks, when you are both feeling more comfortable with each other, then come back to us (or talk to your vet), we’ll talk about scruffing 🙂 One good thing to do is to get them used to their vet carrier by leaving it out so they can play in it and around it and get to know it without it being ‘that scary cage that only comes out when we get trapped and taken to a place where we get prodded and injected!’ Then when you do need to use it to take them to the vet, they won’t be terrified of it.

    #798888

    hi, isa! new cats are often intiially shy, and it takes awhile to get them used to u and their new environment. when i had kittens, my best tip was to get them to interact and understand that you are a positive presence. treats and toys are a good start, but also give them their space. like people, cats have their own personality, and their personailites may naturally be tuned to other cats rather then people based on their experiences. so just consider all these things, give them time, and encourage them slowly to play and interact with you. make sure they see that you are feeding and cleaning their box. emphasise good things. good luck!

    #798893
    Isa
    Participant

    Oh wow! Thank you all for such great advice and tips! I noticed we all have tabby cats! Aren’t they amazing? I just love tabbies.
    I couldn’t have asked for more comforting words and feel so much better! There’s too many myths out there about cats and kittens that only set the wrong expectations and leave the caretaker confused.
    Thank you especially for:
    1) reminding me that kittens don’t like to be picked up for more than 1 sec – all the reading that I’ve done made me believe that there’s something wrong with me if they won’t stay with me for 5 min
    2) suggesting that even a quick “dive-by” grooming will be ok for now and will help me get them used to it and that I should encourage them to “play” with their carrier. I keep it out, but I have not not done anything to help them want to explore it and go inside.
    3) showing them that I am a positive presence through whatever interactions I have with them, even a litter box cleaning. Believe it or not I was trying to clean their boxes without letting them seeing me because I was worried that it would bother them that I am doing something there.

    It will be much easier for me now to give them time as I try slowly to win their affection and trust. They are very attached to each other and need to be together all the time, if one disappears to the kitchen or anywhere else, the other one starts crying very loudly!

    I’m taking them very seriously and worry about everything that they may view as negative including vet trips and the spay/neuter surgery. I know I’ll have to do it soon because they are a boy and a girl, but it’s going to be hard. Also, even the nail clipping – the readings that I’ve done suggest that I should get them used to having their paws handled and held out through repeated handling. Again, at this point I can’t go there, although when I watch them play I worry that accidentally one of them will scratch the other one’s eye! I noticed that when they’re asleep, they are really out so it could be a good time to trim their nails. But then again I read that you should not disturb a sleeping kitten/cat, so I don’t now if that would be a good idea. I often can’t resist petting them a little when they’re asleep. Is that bad? I hope not!
    Thank you again everyone!

    #798895
    snowkitten
    Participant

    Sorry if i am repeating some of the stuff, but with a four month old baby, I don’t have time to read all of the responses. This is actually completely normal behavior for two kittens, and is actually why lots of people get two kittens… cause then the kittens are less demanding as far as play is concerned since they then focus on each other instead of you. It is also normal for (most) kittens (and cats in general) to dislike being held for longer than a couple of seconds.

    I would find a toy you can play with both kittens at the same time, like a wand & feather toy or a laser pointer. This way you can bond with the kittens by playing & also burn off some of their energy. If their energy is burned off, they will probably let you hold them a bit longer. Also, I like to pet my cats for a minute or two while they are eating. They purr when you do this and it is a bonding experience. Hope this helps & I hope I didn’t just repeat advice. Anyways, baby is starting to fuss so must go, lol!

    #798898
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    Yeah Isa tabbies rule!!!

    Another “grooming” thing you might or might not have considered is brushing your kitties’ teeth. There was no way that I could have done this with my first pet/kitty as I was too scared and I think he sensed it and might have bitten my fingers off. But I started with my Dorry when I first adopted him at 2 months old, which is what my vet suggested. I use special kitty toothpaste and a regular baby toothbrush and he willingly opens his mouth for the procedure, he also likes being brushed although he is a shorthaired kit, supposedly regular brushing keeps the amount of fur that he might swallow during self-grooming down. They actually do sell long handled toothbrushes, with a handle like 2 feet long but I have never had to resort to this LOL. What are your kitties’ names?

    #798899
    Isa
    Participant

    Thank you Snowkitten for very helpful tips. I’m especially glad to hear that you pet your cats while they eat. I try to pet mine too a little because it is one of the few time that they let me do that while holding still. When it comes to play, I play with them a lot. In addition to wand and feather toy, I also tried to get the boy to play fetch with an aluminum foil ball, because he actually likes to carry it in his mouth! He does not want to bring it back to me, however, the next day, after my husband left for work and I returned to bed, both kitties came to bed with me (in a play mode not rest mode) and the boy brought the aluminum foil ball to me! I was shocked! I threw it 3x and he brought it back to bed and released it for me to throw again! Even though it was just 3x, my husband said that he obviously associates me with playing! I just wanted more affection, but thanks to all who responded I realize that I’m asking for too much too soon. I should be happy that my kittens feel at home and like to play with me even though it has only been 4 days.

    #798911
    Isa
    Participant

    Thanks KJ for the tip about brushing teeth. I followed your initial advice and actually contacted the former owner of my kitties and asked her to visit me and the kittens and show me how to clip their nails and do other grooming as well – she has background in animal science and is a groomer I believe. She agreed! I’m sure she knows how to brush their teeth. I’ll also watch how she handles them because she did an amazing job with all her other cats. My kittens are named Neo and Shea (pronounced She-ah). I swear they are starting to respond to these names when I call them in high pitched voice (can’t help it)! They are so smart! Neo symbolizes a new beginning and Shea a “gift”. I gave them these symbolic names because I fostered an amazing kitten not too long ago and got extremely attached to him in a short period of time, so I was heart broken when someone adopted him away from me. My fault for not intending to keep him because of long working hours. But I missed him so much that I immediately decided to get 2 siblings so that they could keep each other company when my husband and I are at work. But as much as Neo and Shea keep my spirits up, I cannot stop thinking about the other little kitty. He ended up in a really good home, but I had such a connection with him even though we only had 9 days together. I hope I’ll be able to find a similar connection with Neo and Shea some day.

    #798914
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    Great that you’ll be getting “hands-on” advice from someone who I’d assume knows much about raising kits. Lovely names, and reasons for choosing them. I hope you attain a strong bond with your new kits, as others have counselled just give it some time, and love them which you’ve already got down purr-fectly :-).

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.