First time Mom mysteries and 2 very different babies!

Hello all! I am a first time foster mom to two 2.5-3 week old kittens. They are the result of horrible abuse. My husbands coworkers found them tied in a plastic bag stuffed under heavy debris with their litter mates in a dumpster they picked up from a construction site on a cold wet day. They had for sure been outdoors for overnight from a secured area but how long they went hungry we don’t know. These are the only two who made it. Police are investigating and requested the babies stay away from shelters as they either euthanize babies or refuse to take them around here and any rescues could take days to find volunteers.
I brought them to the vet and she said I am doing the right things but they are too wee to worm or do much of anything too as they are still very touch and go. They were both too weak to move on Wednesday when I got them. The little boy, Chance, just opened his eyes that night. As of now the little girl, Lucky, is learning to walk and climb.
I am new to this (prior livestock experience only-not delicate little fluffs!) and concerned and need advice.
She will only eat off the huge nipple. She doesn’t seem quite ready to lap yet as I’ve tried. I am worried she is eating too fast as she sucks her food down BUT if the KMR comes out any slower paced she pushes it away and screams until I increase the hole or squeeze her mouth full of food. She usually eats it all but at night not as much. Is that normal? After wards I put her in her playpen to practice walking for a bit so I can change bedding then she tuckers out and sleeps in her home.
Chance on the other hand has just started to be able to hold his head up a bit and look around, tries to purr, but otherwise toddles around very little and just kind of sits. He can only handle the eye dropper and sometimes eats all and sometimes only a few droppers-again at night. (I’ve been recording but they are asleep on me now). I’m terrified I’m forcing him to eat but unless I open his lips and slowly drop it in he won’t seek it out. I have gotten him to use a nipple occasionally but he falls asleep with it in his mouth then starts awake and chokes himself. He appears to be stronger and I was told males develop a little slower. He’s had two near death breathing attacks the night I got him but I put him in my shirt on my chest to stay warm and hear my heart beat and he hasn’t had another in a couple days.
1. Following the vet recommendations I am rubbing a drop of very sweet honey in their mouth every feeding. (Easter weekend the Karo Syrup is all gone.)
2. Both had normal heart rates and temp.
3. I have not seen “poop” and no one answers that question. Every other day I see two specific yellow spots on the cotton ball. Is that poop? I know they burn up a lot of formula growing and I don’t know if liquid diet equals that. No diharrea or dehydration. (Very dehydrated the first night so mixed formula with clear Pedialite with the water. Advised to stop that for now.)
I started out every two hours now it seems any sooner than 3.5-4 hours and they refuse to eat and grumble because they’re awake.
I have read so much information but some of the stuff I just can’t get specifics on and I worry so much I could harm them! I have three cats that I am keeping well away from them as they do not have a clean bill of health yet. Two coworkers families have enthusiastically agreed to cover the bills and adopt them so I am very thankful for that! Now that they have homes waiting in even more worried about their survival! I am keeping them in a draft free kitchen in a clean box. Half heat pad half cold covered in a blanket to distribute heat then a thin easy-wash towel on top. Thermometer reads 90 in the box. I keep a flannel blanket on top with a two inch crack and it stays perfect temp. Humidity in the room at 60 right now. Monitoring often so as not to let the heat out. Following the powdered formulas feeding rations plus a finger touched in light clover honey to the gums every feeding. Needed a taller box as little Lucky ran up the stuffed cuddle kitty and the blanket out the top and almost fell!! D:
If I over explained I am a nervous wreck so basically-
*What constitutes a “poop” at this tiny age? The vet didn’t really clarify or state spacifics but was more concerned with urinating which is every session and only one negative on each within the first 24 hrs.
*Do they ALWAYS have to eat the same exact amount every feeding? Do they sometimes vary?
Should I force the little man onto a bottle as my vet tech sister advised at the risk of him not getting enough (which I don’t take to this method)or keep with the dropper and use my best judgment like I did with his sister?( she couldn’t even swallow without rubbing her throat the first night now she’s fierce!)
I groom them every feeding with a dampened cotton ball or wash cloth, fluff their fur with a baby tooth brush to dry any dampness and use a flea comb to help with any milk dreads on the extra fluffy Chance. (The driver who brought the dumpster saw a big Persian mix mama cat but was completely unaware of what he was carrying.) Any help or even some moral support would be great!
Thank you!