Too Honest Obituary?

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  • 24 August, 2008 at 12:27 am #19612
    Catwoman
    Participant

    Dolores Aguilar, born in 1929 in New Mexico, left us on August 7, 2008. She will be met in the afterlife by her husband, Raymond, her son, Paul Jr., and daughter, Ruby.

    She is survived by her daughters Marietta, Mitzi, Stella, Beatrice, Virginia and Ramona, and son Billy; grandchildren, Donnelle, Joe, Mitzie, Maria, Mario, Marty, Tynette, Tania, Leta, Alexandria, Tommy, Billy, Mathew, Raymond, Kenny, Javier, Lisa, Ashlie and Michael; great-grandchildren, Brendan, Joseph, Karissa, Jacob, Delaney, Shawn, Cienna, Bailey, Christian, Andre Jr., Andrea, Keith, Saeed, Nujaymah, Salma, Merissa, Emily, Jayci, Isabella, Samantha and Emily. I apologize if I missed anyone.

    Dolores had no hobbies, made no contribution to society and rarely shared a kind word or deed in her life. I speak for the majority of her family when I say her presence will not be missed by many, very few tears will be shed and there will be no lamenting over her passing.

    Her family will remember Dolores and amongst ourselves we will remember her in our own way, which were mostly sad and troubling times throughout the years. We may have some fond memories of her and perhaps we will think of those times too. But I truly believe at the end of the day ALL of us will really only miss what we never had, a good and kind mother, grandmother and great-grandmother. I hope she is finally at peace with herself. As for the rest of us left behind, I hope this is the beginning of a time of healing and learning to be a family again.

    There will be no service, no prayers and no closure for the family she spent a lifetime tearing apart. We cannot come together in the end to see to it that her grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say their goodbyes. So I say here for all of us, GOOD BYE, MOM.

    Comment on this

    24 August, 2008 at 12:28 am #274329
    Catwoman
    Participant

    And yes, I checked here first:

    http://www.snopes.com/media/iftrue/obituary.asp

    24 August, 2008 at 12:35 am #274330
    Tigerlilly
    Participant

    Catwoman, maybe this will inspire those who are living like Dolores did , to change their ways. I feel sad for her family.

    24 August, 2008 at 12:39 am #274331
    sloopy1975
    Participant

    wow… really makes you think… unfortunately I have people in my life that I could write an obit like that for (I’m sure we can all think of at least one)…

    life is too short to wear grouchy-pants all the time, lol…

    24 August, 2008 at 2:21 am #274332
    Catwoman
    Participant

    This is really irking me, the more I think about it. Maybe Delores had no hobbies because she was wiping kids butts and washing dirty diapers all the time and had no spare time for hobbies, since she had 9 children. How could it be said that she made no contribution to society, when right above that are the names of her numerous descendants?

    24 August, 2008 at 2:37 am #274333
    Kitten Whisperer in Oregon (8/27)
    Participant

    Delores must have been as miserable as the people she left behind. Pretty sad. You are right, CW, she probably didn’t have time to do much beyond child rearing while her kids were growing up, but I wonder about all the years that went by after they were grown and gone.

    24 August, 2008 at 2:48 am #274334
    Cats4cats
    Participant

    The thing that gets to me is the bitterness of the writer. Doesn’t he or she know that hanging on to such hurts doesn’t do anyone any good? If you can’t send your mom off with a good salutation, don’t bother writing one at all.

    24 August, 2008 at 2:49 am #274335
    anncetera2
    Participant

    It is unfortunate but true that many people take paths in life that they don’t necessarily want to travel. If Delores had never wanted to have 9 children, I can see how easily a dreadful cycle of dysfunctional family relationships could take hold, and bear the bitterest of fruit.

    I feel sorry for the daughter who ran the obituary – both for the life she had, but also for the bitterness and/or anger she still bears. I can only think that Delores may have suffered from mental illness, and also perhaps from a less-than-ideal upbringing herself.

    24 August, 2008 at 2:53 am #274336
    Kitten Whisperer in Oregon (8/27)
    Participant

    The obit might have been a cathartic exercise for the daughter who wrote it.

    Love your Cleo avatar, Ann!

    24 August, 2008 at 2:54 am #274337
    anncetera2
    Participant

    My very, very, very favorite cartoon of all time! I can watch it again and again; it never grows stale, to me.

    24 August, 2008 at 2:56 am #274338
    Catwoman
    Participant

    Ann, that has always been my favorite cartoon too. Cleo is my avatar on AIM!

    24 August, 2008 at 2:57 am #274339
    anncetera2
    Participant

    Heh, great minds must think alike! Or something like that… yeah, that’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

    24 August, 2008 at 3:09 am #274340
    spacecatsgarden
    Participant

    gosh i may have harsh feelings for some people who did some horrible things to me in my life but no i wouldnt write that in an obituary. I probably would be more likely to not write anything and just sit and light a candle and hope that in their passing they can shed their own hurt and anger with the world on their way to the next world.

    Chey

    24 August, 2008 at 5:26 am #274341
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    Missing you Catwoman. Hope things are better for you. Send me an email sometime to update me. Hugs and purrs to you and your family.

    24 August, 2008 at 6:06 am #274342
    kittymom
    Participant

    This makes me very sad…. so many children, grandchildren and great grandchildren the writer isn’t even sure the list is complete…. Too much pain and disfunctionality have been passed down through the generations in this family….

    24 August, 2008 at 9:40 am #274343
    AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew
    Participant

    How very sad for the entire family 🙁

    24 August, 2008 at 9:49 am #274344
    miu
    Participant

    Sad. So much bitterness and anger in a family.

    24 August, 2008 at 11:13 am #274345
    metsa
    Participant

    It is sad that that is the way a mother and grandmother is remembered. But truly, some people are not nice or good, and some people I have met seem to take pleasure in spreading misery and making others unhappy. Having said that, it doesn’t make it ok or right to write an obituary like this, and it just shows that the writer is troubled and bitter themselves. I’m sorry for all of them involved really.

    24 August, 2008 at 12:55 pm #274346
    SammyandOliversmama
    Participant

    I am with you, KW, I think the obit might have been a cathartic exercise for whoever wrote it. I know writing is for me. Once written, I can let go too. And, I don’t usually keep it either. Very sad indeed. Hopefully the person that did write it will move on now.

    24 August, 2008 at 6:58 pm #274347
    Sheba's Mom in Phoenix, AZ 10/8
    Participant

    Sounds like there should be some counselling in this family’s future. It sounds like Dolores has a mental illness—had that with my mom. Not easy to forgive a ruined childhood, but at least they had many others to lean on.

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