The complicated measure of being Hispanic in America

Jo, I don’t know where you are from, but there have indeed been instances of people who harvest their own blood not because they were terrified of catching a disease, but because they don’t want nothin’ mixin’ around in there. I seem to recall a story about this just a few years back. It doesn’t sound like something that would happen in this day and age does it? But it does.

The bottom line is people of color and White people don’t look at prejudice the same way. Because if you’re White, you’re not going to understand for the most part what it’s like to be discriminated against every day. And in some ways, it does happen every day. It’s true, but if you dwell on that, it will kill you. I choose not to dwell on it, but you better believe I know it’s there.

To me, it’s just as insulting to me if somebody says ‘You’re very well spoken.’ Why wouldn’t I be well spoken, I’ve always been well spoken. Being raised around an educator will do that to you. I mean, I never thank anybody who tells me that because I think they’ve formed an opinion about me without knowing anything at all about me other than what I look like.

Now, am I going to sit around a berate the ‘man’ for holding me down? No, of course not. I wasn’t raised to believe that anybody could hold me down, I was raised to believe that I was smart enough (which I am) and witty enough (which I am) and clever enough (which I am) that I would do just fine. The thing is, not everybody is fortunate enough to be brought up that way and I probably have a pretty good idea why.

Most of us, with few exceptions, are raised around people who are just like we are. They look like we do, they talk like we do, etc. There are instances – like school and work – where the twain meets, but that’s not how most people really ‘live.’

Because I was lucky enough to be an exception, my mindset is different. When you grow up on Air Force Bases like I did, just about everybody is from some place else anyway. In that instance, everybody was the same.

But I know not everybody was brought up that way.

I appreciate everyone’s points of view on this topic and the effort taken to engage deeply in a respectful discussion. No wonder I love TDK! The people here rock. 🙂

🙂

You are very welcome, Jo.

Some people are funny – they expect Southern White people to be bigoted when the most intolerant place I’ve ever lived in my life was Orange County California. It’s the only place I’ve ever lived in ALL the places I’ve lived, where somebody refused to serve me at a restaurant.

Your parents sound like awesome people who gave you some wonderful experiences while you were growing up. You are very fortunate, my friend. *hugs*

A very interesting conversation today. Discrimination is something I and my brothers experienced by being Catholic in a very protestant town. My older brother Richard (RIP) got the worst of it by being the first going to school. We went to a very small Catholic school in town. My father had to pay for us to ride the bus, even though we boarded the bus with other farm children going to public school. Also the bus would not stop to drop us near our school. There was one traffic light in town which was 1 block from my school, but we were not allowed off until we reached the public school 1/2 mile away. Also, if we were late getting to the bus after school they would not wait for us. I can remember one spring day having to walk the 4 miles home in a late spring snow storm because we couldn’t walk fast enough in the snow to make the bus. We were dressed in light jackets, no gloves or boots. I’ll never forget that walk, crying all the way. We walked home many times in the 7 years I went to school there. The mean things done to us, and we are Irish-Polish whites, by the adults and children were life altering, especially for Richard.

The only thing I have to say about color discrimination is everyone should speak the language of the american majority, I think that would solve one part of the problem. The accents would be charming, and their assimilation into this country would be much quicker.

Jo in Blairsville:

‘I have been the subject of prejudice here on TDK by whites and blacks who’ve jeered at me for being Southern. I’ve been accused of being a certain “kind of woman” and I’ve been sarcastically called Joprah,’

I believe you are referring to when you mentioned that some of the content on TDK might not be appropriate for children and that when people didn’t comment in agreement with you, that we were embarrassed by our actions?

I wasn’t going to comment on this, but it has been heavy on my heart for a few hours. First of all, it saddens me that anyone in my TDK family has felt discriminated against while visiting this site. Yes, I said family. I love each of you (warts and all!) as much as I love my family. I consider this a friendlier place than I do with my own family (sad, isn’t it?). That being said, I want you to know, Jo, that I am just voicing my own humble opinion, thinking that maybe many other TDKers felt the same way–of course, I have no way of knowing one way or another. I can only tell you how I felt.

I took that whole episode as one person trying to instill their mores on everyone else at TDK (hence, the Joprah comment). For me, anyway, it had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you being Southern, a certain type of woman, or anything else, for that matter. Was I offended? A little. I didn’t respond to all of that ‘stuff’–not because I was embarrassed by my own behavior–but, because I was biting my tongue and sitting on my hands so that I wouldn’t respond and hurt your feelings. My intensions here are the same. I DO hope that I’m not offending anyone here by stating my opinion, and certainly not you, Jo.

I’m sharing this with you (a little embarrased, too, by the way) because I, for one, never saw that whole mess as anything prejudicial. I’m sorry you feel like it was. People here just want to be themselves, without judgement or jury. The Kittenmeister is the one who dictates what is appropriate or not for this site, not any member–not even me. You could’ve been purple with pink polk-a-dots, tan with warts, or the most beautiful looking person around and I would’ve been a little irritated at what you said. Again, that’s just me. I’m not in your shoes so I don’t know how I would have perceived it. Do I have any negative feelings toward you for what you said? Not at all. In fact, I admire you tremendously for being able to eloquently state your opinions the way you do. I usually don’t have the guts to do so. I share this with you, Jo, so that maybe you can see that whole mess in another perspective. I don’t believe any of my friends here are prejudiced against any posters–as long as they talk from the heart. Just my thoughts. . .

Said with love, Susan

WHEN I READ ALL THE COMMENTS HERE THE ONLY THING THAT GOES THRU MY MIND IS WHAT CARING PERSON THAT WAS OR THAT WAS THE DUMBEST THINK I EVER HEARD. AND I HAVE NOT HAD ANY IDEA UNTIL NOW WHAT RACE SOME OF YOU ARE. AND IT STILL MAKES NO DIFFERECE SOME ARE STILL DUMB COMMENTS AT TIMES, GREEN WHITE BLUE ‘COLORED’ MAKES NO MATTER WE ALL ARE AMERICANS AND MAY NOT HAVE ALOT IN COMMON EXCEPT TO BE LUCKY ENOUGH TO LIVE IN THIS GREAT LAND. AND OUR LOVE FOR FURRBABIES OF COURSE

On this observance of Native American Day…remember the axiom:

“You don’t understand my situation until you have walked a mile in my moccasins.”

Empathy still doesn’t give us that “mile-long walk”…only personal experience does. We do not and cannot understand what it is to be a person of another culture, up-bringing or ethnicity. To think that we CAN understand another’s experience is our own, very human, arrogance. What we can do is appreciate that their walk is a different one than ours and yield “right-of-way” to others to pursue that journey, and enjoy the freedom of their experiences. Laws are made so that we can live in a society where such freedoms are for everyone. Morals and taboos are what humans have developed to ensure our own tribal/family survival. Love is the gift that the Creator has given us to surrender to universal law…and love trumps everything. Pure or “Agape” Love doesn’t try to persuade, doesn’t judge, doesn’t expect, doesn’t even yearn… it both yields and embraces and it is a mystery worth pursuing for us all.

Well Jo, I remember your scathing attack on me when I was going through all of that “stuff” where you read my past posts and called one person and then decided you knew what I was/am all about. I never knew that it was possible to be hurt so much by a stranger. For all your southern “gentility” you are quick to judge.

Now you’ll probably want to jump on me again but see it for what it is pre-judg-ice.

This is not an attack but an offer for you to see yourself in a different light. I wanted to leave this subject and “you” alone but it was heavy on my heart also and it hurt me. And you were wrong.

Heaven forbid I don’t want to dredge up what I went through,it’s a freshly healed wound that I don’t want opened(sorry for that metaphor but I’m a nurse). I also just want us to be careful of another folly(I don’t know what to call it),assuming we know someone because we’ve read their posts,all of us are so much more than shows up in what we type. I don’t hold it against you or anyone Jo,for judging me but I thinkwe need to be careful what we say directly to others because we really don’t know what’s going on in their lives.

I’m probably just digging the hole deeper but I just felt I had something to say.