Small flat – constant crying

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  • #822392
    Tegan
    Participant

    Hi. Wondering if people can provide advice. We have a four month old kitten we have had for two months, he will be a house cat. We have a smallish flat with a bedroom we shut him out of at night. Their is a door, the you have a living room with the kitchen off it (no door in between) and then the bathroom through that. We have to go through the living room to get to the bathroom. Our kitten crys when you shut him up for the night and then again in the early morning. This is generally consistent and he won’t give up. Problem is we have to stop him as the neighbours are complaining. Also in the morning because he wakes us up we generally need the loo or have to start getting ready for work. So we have to open the living room door. I know this is counter productive but we don’t have a choice. Does any one have any suggestions to calm him so he doesn’t cry at night? We would have him in the bedroom but he bites is whilst we sleep.

    #822395
    Buttons
    Moderator

    Ah yes typical kitten behaviour 🙂

    Welcome to TDK …

    My living arrangements are similar to yours (size wise) and we have 3 indoor cats at the moment.. The trick with young kittens is that you have to keep the entertained.. One thing I would highly suggest is playtime.. About a half an hour before you go to bed have an intense play session to tire him out. Really keep him active for the half an hour until he either starts to pant slightly or he just gives up and lays down and then leave out his night time feed.. Cats are driven By these three important rules.. Hunt-eat-sleep or in an indoor only cats case play-eat-sleep.. If he has a full stomach of food he will sleep for longer and there are also toys you can buy that are interactive and these can occupy him at night if he does get a boost of energy. There are also food puzzle toys that you could give him instead of the night meal that way he will continue to be active to obtain his meal and not disturb you. You will have to be strict and completely ignore unwanted behaviour this is easier said than done sometimes . One other very important thing is at 4 months old he can be neutered.. And it’s so important to neuter all cats especially indoor only cats. It will reduce the risks of escapes, improve health and reduce unwanted territorial behaviour also. And the sooner you have him neutered the less his pee will smell and this is important being that your in a small apartment. Also if you don’t already get some long scratch posts.. The longer the better and place in a high foot traffic area this will help him establish his territory and will make him a confident happy cat. The posts should be at least as long as his body fully stretched out for him to make full use of the posts. It will also reduce the risks of him scratching your furniture .. Hope that helps 🙂

    #822401
    Tegan
    Participant

    Thank you. That helps. We generally feed him, then play then leave him. But will try night time interactive toys, maybe one full of his nighttime dry food. Is it ok to go in first thing at 6am when he wakes and give him a toy – or will this encourage him to cry? We have his vets for jan to get him fixed and hoping this calms his aggressive behaviours. Bet has confirmed he is a feisty cat with a reaction to bite.

    Any recommendation for a stracting post as he doesn’t use his – just a standard size post.

    #822403
    Buttons
    Moderator

    Some cats like to use horizontal cardboard scratchers more than the vertical posts but a cat won’t use the vertical post if it’s too short in length or hidden in a corner it needs to be where people pass so he feels like his scent will be noticed . A cat scratches not only to groom claws but they have scent glands located inbetween the toes and this leaves a territory marker.

    As for the morning feeds I wouldn’t worry about feeding him as soon as you get up . Cats are like clocks they will adjust to the feeding time and will probably wake you at the exact breakfast time every morning and that’s unavoidable all cat Meowmys have to deal with breakfast cat alarm clocks 🙂

    #822404
    Buttons
    Moderator

    Also rubbing dry cat nip in to post might help peak his interest in the post

    #822425
    Tegan
    Participant

    We never feed till 8am no matter when he wakes and it’s always after he seen me eat and potter around for a bit. This is harder than the nights as he wakes up crying at usually 6am and won’t stop. Unfort this wakes us up and generally we need the loo so he thinks success we have their attention. Also we get up at 7 so even if he crys for a full hour we have to work eventually. It’s a nightmare because it’s really atopping is both have a full night sleep. If we were to let him in the bedroom and go back to sleep he will just bite is constantly.

    #822429
    Buttons
    Moderator

    The biting will calm down especially after neutering.. I’ll be honest since owning cats I’ve found they prefer to eat at “dawn” so the hours of 6-7 is very important feeding . Cats aren’t nocturnal as most people believe The domestic house cat is actually crepuscular, which means they are most active at dusk and dawn. Most indoor cats follow a very specific trend of dawn and dusk activity, rather than strictly at night. and not very active at night and during daytime hours.. So cats are used to their pray/ feeding in the dawn hours. You could buy a timed feeder which opens at a specific time that way he won’t associate you waking with food

    #822439
    Jeankit
    Participant

    Warm welcome to TDK Tegan & new purry furry!
    Good luck on your kit – name is…
    As always, thanks for helpful info Buttons!
    Makes sense too – just realized my kits tend to eat during those times too!

    #822447
    katzenjammer
    Participant

    Interesting Buttons,
    Dorry seems to be an early bird (pun intended) when it comes to eating too. So at times I do get up much earlier than planned, take care of his nomz needs and then go back to sleep. Works generally as by time I really get up he’s finished his canned food and then I put out serving of dry food. I do not free feed him.

    #822452
    Kittyzee
    Participant

    My cats sleep with me at night and when I get up in the morning, they run downstairs with me waiting to be fed. He is a kitten and will cry, which will eventually stop as he gets older. I don’t free feed my cats either and they eat at specific times: morning, noon, and evening, just like me. Cats and kittens like spending time with their humans, I’m sure he just doesn’t understand being shut up in a separate room. As long as you have patience with him, ignoring him when he bites, he will settle down and sleep. Yes, it takes a LOT of patience, but it will stop.

    #822457
    Tegan
    Participant

    How can u ignore him when he bites or constantly goes for your hands? It hurts and makes us both bleed. We don’t wwant to spend half the night not falling asleep because we can’t see him and don’t wantto be worken with a kitten chewing on us. Nor do we want to feed any earlier than 8am, we never want to get him used to being feed early as that’s a lifetime of being woken up and where we both already work long hours, we both need the little sleep we can get. He is called Rogue and lives up to his name greatly. Also on a side note, is nursing normal for a four month old kitten? When he is really tired and relaxed he paws at me and try’s to suckle on us,this is painful and a wee bit creepy – we currently try to redirect his attention to a towel.

    #822458
    Tegan
    Participant

    Ps he is not free feed. We Give him three regular meals a day. Tire him out before bed.

    #822465
    Buttons
    Moderator

    Lol I do have to giggle 🙂 the suckling is also called wool kneading.. Kittens normally do this if they’ve been taken from mother to early. The kneading action with the paws mimics what kittens would do to stimulate the mothers milk to flow quicker.. It’s a way for a kitten/cat to relax .. As for the “wool kneading” paw action most cats will continue to do this through life as it’s a comfort for them and one way of making this a little less uncomfortable is to trim a cats crawls but get your vet to show you how to do this you only want to clip the points of the claws and not trim where the claw/nail is pink as this could cause a little bleeding . I have trained all my indoor only cats from a young age to behave while they get their claws trimmed and it takes seconds to do and I normally only trim the front paws once every two weeks.

    Another reason for the suckling especially around “wool” jumpers and clothing is that there is a compound chemical secreted by sheep into their wool naturally called lanolin and cats can smell this lanolin in even very old well washed wool clothing it almost sends them into a Trance (a similar effect catnip has on some cats) this is where the term “wool kneading” originated but some cats just kneaded on any soft material not nessesarily wool bases clothing this behaviour can last longer than the suckling. It’s not weird but very common and shows how much he loves you 🙂 head rubs and cheek rubs are another sign of affection and most generous form of affection believe it or not is a Side cheek rub followed by a gentle bite.. This is basically your cat giving you a kiss 🙂

    As for the feeding times it’s not impossible for him to eventually become used to your preferred feeding time this will require a lot of patience and feeding with a puzzle feeder at night will help him to not be so hungry so early in the morning.. And again in your situation I would recommend the automatic food dispenser ( not free feeding.. As KZ &KJ have said free feeding is not wise) but the automatic feed we only open a compartment at a specific time that you decide to set and you can put in the required morning feed . Most automatic feeders have more than one compartment because a lot of people use them if they will be away for a night or for long periods during the day and don’t want to free feed.. It’s a very handy gadget to own and they are pretty inexpensive nowadays ..

    #822466
    Buttons
    Moderator

    Also the biting and rough play will reduce once he’s neutered.. But in the meantime if he’s biting your hand the last thing you want to do is ripe it away fast from him cause then he just sees your hand as prey and a toy . Instead as hard as it sounds resist the urge to pull your hand away quickly and slowly either remove you hand from his grasp and try to distract with a toy .

    #822484
    Judith
    Participant

    Hi Tegan,
    My kitten was terrible with her claws (and sometimes teeth). It took a lot of gentle detaching of talons by me and putting Dru on the floor for her to learn gentleness. She did learn though and she is so careful now (unless I am playing intentionally and her tummy gets touched!). Buttons is so right about staying still if a kitten bites. They immediately stop and you can remove your hand slowly (Dru always licks my hand apologetically at that point). Anything else is a game for a cat.
    Dru is nearly 8 months old and she is lovely company, but we both had to work at it and I had to do most of the work. She is a house cat (like your boy) and I found I had to try and think like she does. I worked out that I was spending only 5 hours in 24 with her some days. That is not enough for an affectionate little kitten. That is why I chose to let her sleep in my room, even though it took us a while to settle down. I would say it took 4 days for Dru to understand that I would not be happy playing after the lights go off. She now sleeps too or wanders off and does her own thing in the rest of the house.
    Buttons is also spot on about early waking. 6:30am every morning, a little paw pats my face and Druster wants her breakfast. This is fine for me because I get up for work then anyway and, at weekends, I feed her then take a cup of tea back to bed. I understand this would not be ideal for you but it is ok for us.
    I guess what I am trying to say is that cats have particular needs around some things, as do humans. We need to give ground in some places and ask for adaptation in others. It is so worth the effort. I hope your kitten settles soon and that you manage to get some quality sleep.

    #822489
    Judith
    Participant

    Sorry, forgot to mention Feliway plug-in diffusers. These keep me and Drusilla sane in times of stress. They are not cheap but I find them well worth the money. Even now, Dru’s behaviour lets me know when the diffuser is running low:)

    #823784
    Tegan
    Participant

    Urgh he’s not much better and to be honest I am at my wits end this week whilst my partners been away. He still constantly hunts and attacks our hands, even though he had plenty of toys and distractions. I can play with him and then sit to read my kindle and the next min Ive got a few new scratches.

    None of our disapline methods seem to work. It’s to the point I have to shut him in another room and this is not good. When he’s not aggressive he is needy and clingy.

    We play with him and then feed him at 10pm, and then again at 8am it has been this way since day one but still every morning he crys from 6.30 until we get out of bed at around 7.30. We have tried feeding toys, and I don’t want to feed him earlier or rely on a feeder.

    He is getting fixed in two weeks and I’m hoping this help, but if it doesn’t I really don’t knowwhat to do next. Honestly didn’t think having a kitten would be this hard, no kitten therapy for us, no happy play times, where’s the reward?

    Trust me I would never have a kitten again, it’s way too stressful on an already stressful life.

    #825631
    Tegan
    Participant

    He’s been fixed now and is no better, he still randomly attacks us. Mostly when we are sitting watching to etc, so unprovked. We want a family but can’t risk the random biting and aggression. No discipline methods work, u can’t clap or hiss because bites then runs usually. This is really affection our marriage and we are at a lose. I really don’t want to give him up, but it’s too stressful to cope with him. We still rarely get a full nights sleep. One night we ignored his crys and hosesly he cried right through till morning… Nothing is working.

    #825633
    Jeankit
    Participant

    Hmm…kit is still young! Have you tried calming products, (I use Pet Natural calming vitamins), catnip, Feliway products…
    http://www.feliway.com/us
    https://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=AwrBT9MacrlU_70As0tXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTBzamR2dHI2BHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2JmMQR2dGlkA1FJMDQ4XzE-?_adv_prop=image&fr=yfp-t-300-s&sz=all&va=cat+calming+products

    Many options out on market as help aids.

    #825638
    Tegan
    Participant

    He’s not a stressed cat so calming products won’t work. Ta not a mood thing, it’s just random. He can be happily playing with his toy and the next min biting your arm then back to playing. I need to know how to teach him we are not notable. He’s doesn’t respond to loud clapping, noises hissing, water spray, being shut out etc. he’s not looking for attention as he really seeks this. It’s just odd. If he gets too old and we don’t stop it. He can really damage someone.

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