Should I let my vet abort my cats unborn kittens?

Home The Daily Kitten Cat Chat Forum General Chat Should I let my vet abort my cats unborn kittens?

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  • #846064
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    I’m in quite a state as I discovered today after a visit to the vet that my Gretchen is pregnant. I’m not upset she’s pregnant but with the advice my vet told me. The vet suggested I take her in tomorrow morning to be spayed and to have the kittens aborted. I nearly fell through the floor at the thought of it but none the less I booked the appointment for tomorrow.

    I have a splitting headache and am starting to feel terribly guilty about doing this to my little love bug.

    Can anyone tell me if they have ever been in this situation? Did you cat feel ok after the operation? I’ve heard if you abort kittens they can sometimes start calling out to their never born kittens etc.

    Am I doing the wrong thing? I have three cats and struggle financially to look after them and having another 3 or 5 kittens is gong to be too much for me.

    Homing them too is going to be a problem, I live in Athens, Greece and people don’t love the animals here like we do in Britain and they prefer puppies too from what my vet told me. I’m so confused and feeling unwell.

    My practical side says do it as Gretchen is only 7 months old and what if I can’t find them homes but my emotions are bugging me.

    Anyway, I have her booked in for tomorrow Greek time at 10:00 so I suppose by the time I read any responses to this thread it will be too late 🙁

    Ok, thanks for listening and I hope I’m doing the right thing. I’m taking the other two to be spayed next week too I don’t Ever want to be faced with this again.

    Feeling very sad.

    Thank you for your time.

    #846066
    Kittyzee
    Participant

    Oscar, I’m so sorry for your dilemma. I totally understand your mixed feelings of the need to have your cat spayed, only to find out that she is already pregnant. I too have had that dilemma, and went ahead and opted for the surgery. I live in the country on a farm with cats that people have dumped along the road, usually VERY pregnant. (The cat I had spayed was not even close to delivering her kittens.) They have their kittens and I became overrun with many cats. So I systematically began to get the females spayed, only to find out that one of them was pregnant at the time. She suffered no ill effects that I am aware of, except for my own feelings of guilt about it. However, I rationalized that I couldn’t keep letting these cats have kittens and me trying to provide homes, food, vet care and medications for them since having so many also brings along many other issues such as disease.
    This is a very individual decision and there may be many who disagree with my decision. I know it makes you sad, but in a kinder world, people would have their male cats neutered and you wouldn’t have a pregnant young seven month old cat! She will come through the surgery fine and will make a wonderful companion for you and be healthier for it. Cats who are spayed live longer and have fewer incidences of cancer also. Whatever you decide you have my blessing. Let us know how she and you are doing!

    #846069
    CatWScotia
    Participant

    Many years ago we had two kittens who had been foster sisters, so they were not quite the same age – a couple of weeks between them, I think. When they reached their first birthday we made arrangements to have them spayed. (In those days it wasn’t advised for females to be done until they were a year old.) The slightly older one had shown some signs of coming into heat, but the younger one hadn’t.

    When they were under the anaesthetic the vet discovered that the younger one was pregnant. We had no idea – we had no reason to suspect that she might be, but by the time it was discovered, things had gone too far to save the kittens.

    I confess that, had I known, I would have let her have her babies, and then the op afterwards. But honestly, she showed no sign of having been aware of them, and certainly didn’t appear to suffer in any way from their loss.

    In your situation, knowing that any kittens born to your cat (still a kitten herself!) would be very unlikely to have a happy, healthy home life, I believe that it will be kinder to let the vet operate. Yes, you will mourn their loss, but you can be sure that the babies didn’t suffer.

    It’s such a hard and painful decision for you, I know. Try to accept that the cat you know and love will have a longer, healthier life after the op, and be glad for her. Unless she is near the time of delivery, I don’t think she will know anything about her kittens.

    I’m so sorry you have to face this decision – please don’t blame yourself for whatever happens now. You can only do what’s best for your cats.

    #846070
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Oscar,

    It is a sad situation but I believe getting Miss Gretchen spayed is the best for all. Cats that are spayed/neutered live longer, healthy lives. You indicate you are overwhelmed with cats/kittens now so another round of kittens will be too much. Rest assured you are doing the right thing.

    PG

    #846095
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi Kittyzee,

    Thank You for your very kind and empathetic message.

    Your support is greatly appreciated and I really need that right now.
    I did take Gretchen in the morning with a very heart and the look on her face when I said I loved her nearly killed me.

    The vet said the op went fine and I’ll pick her up tomorrow but I feel so unwell with this decision. I’ve been crying so much as I just can’t believe I went ahead and did this to her. I’m thinking about what her babies would have looked like etc.

    My holistic lady [she’s a horse whisperer] here in Athens, Greece told me to send her a pic of Gretch before op so she could communicate with her and she told me that Gretchen told her there were four babies and that Gretchen would need time to recover her loss as she really wanted to be a Mum.

    She also said Gretchen wans’t mad at me and understood my decision but would miss them none the less. They then named them and sent them into the light.
    I believe these things very much.

    I’ll ask my vet tomorrow how many kittens there were anyway just to confirm.

    Well thank you for being so kind I’m just so devastated right now and don’t ever want to be in the situation again.

    Thanks for listening:-)

    p.s I’m so very sorry that you also experienced this with one of your babies…..I hope you’re feeling better now and well done you for taking on so many cats….it’s not an easy job sometimes but oh so worth it.

    Oscar 🙂

    #846096
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi CatWScotia,

    Thank you too for your reassuring and very kind words!!

    I’m hanging on to them right now as I feel I made the wrong decision in having them aborted.
    I was fine and then it suddenly hit me with what I had done to Gretchen and her unborn babies.

    My holistic lady gave me word of reassurance that Gretchen is fine but hurt by my decision but in time will be ok with it.
    I just can’t help but think what if……I know I shouldn’t but I found Gretchen as a tiny kitten wondering the streets of Athens having been hit by a car and a broken tail.

    She’s been with me ever since and I feel I let her down. I know it would have been a financial burden and the re-homing process but at least it would have bought joy into Gretchen’s life [and mine].

    I believe she is my animal soul mate and I could feel after I took her in today that she wanted these babies and was proud to be pregnant which makes it harder for me to deal with.

    In time we will both be ok but I think I will always wonder what could have been. They didn’t even get a chance of life this makes my unbearably sad. Im not listening to my vet again.

    I’m sad to hear bout your incident with your baby too….I hope she made a wonderful recovery and is living a life of glee with you now.

    Thank You once again for your words and support it really is helping me and I’m sure in time I’ll feel better.
    Right now though I just want to reverse time.

    Thank you very much!! 🙂

    #846097
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi Pussigato,

    Thank You also for your kind and meaningful words.
    I feel grateful to all of you who took the time to reassure me regarding this circumstance.

    I know you’re right but I will always wonder what her babies would have been like and I’m having images of them snuggling with Gretchen and playing all together.

    I get furious when I think they weren’t given an opportunity and I feel responsible for this [plus I’m extra mad at my vet] I shouldn’t be cross with her I know but she should have given me more support instead of filling my head with the negatives. I still can’t quite believe they will no longer be. Poor things. How unfair they were just being themselves.

    Thank you again and I hope I come to terms with this [I’m quite sensitive] and find a way to move forwards.

    Your support has been much appreciated and helpful to me.

    Oscar

    #846098
    CatWScotia
    Participant

    Oscar – you are allowed to mourn. You are allowed to cry. Of course you will always wonder how things would have been.

    But if Gretchen herself is only seven months old, then giving birth to the babies, feeding them and caring for them would have been a lot of strain on her. She might have found it hard to get over that and become ill – try to be glad that she will recover and have a long and healthy life with you.

    Be kind to yourself. You did the best – although the saddest at the time – thing for your Gretchen. Now you will be able to recover together.

    Take care.

    #846101
    lagatta
    Participant

    I share your pain. Neighbours had a cat who became pregnant that young and she was unable to care for her kittens – they all died. I know how heartbreaking your decision was, but I think it was wise.

    #846109
    Kittyzee
    Participant

    Hello Oscar, I’m so very sorry you are having such a hard time. I do believe what CatWScotia and lagatta say–you never know what might have been–you could have lost your precious Gretchen AND all the kittens. I have had THAT happen too. Such is the case when dealing with cats, or any animal really who has been tossed into the world to fend for themselves and they end up on one’s doorstep. You don’t know if they are healthy to begin with and how does an animal feel who has been loved and cared for, only to find herself with kittens and then tossed into the unknown to fend for herself. I cannot or will not turn away a cat who comes to me for any reason, as I have learned (like you) it just goes against everything I believe in. Please be kind to yourself and realize you did the best for Gretchen, and her kittens did not suffer. They will wait for her (and you) in the Meadow–a lifetime for you but a blink of an eye for them. 🙂

    #846142
    Tammy M.
    Participant

    Hi Oscar. I’m new here but I read your post and I’m sorry you feel you’ve made the wrong choice. I, too, have made the wrong choices in the care of animals in the past and I still regret those choices and that my actions hurt animals that I cared for. (The example in my mind is that I let my sweet kitty Bones explore outside sometimes even though he wasn’t street smart, and one morning he was killed by a dog.) But I’ve also learned that as humans, we have to learn some things through our mistakes. When we know better, we do better. I had a thought though, perhaps you could volunteer for your animal shelter as a kitten foster, as I do. That way both you and Gretchen would get to raise kittens and be fulfilled, while at the same time, helping kittens who have no mom or home of their own. I know I receive immense satisfaction and purpose from raising baby kittens and getting them ready for their forever homes. Perhaps doing that might help you and Gretchen work through your grief.

    #846197
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi CatWSc otia,

    Thank You again for your incredible support.
    I’m still sad but you’re correct she is very young and small and it might have been a bad situation had I let her go ahead with the pregnancy.

    She’s at home now and doing much better…..poor thing with her head collar…my other two cats hiss at her sometimes as they think she looks scary.
    Also there were 4 kittens as my holistic lady had said. I asked the vet and she said that there were 4 so I truly do believe in my holistic lady.

    I light a candle every night for them so that they can find a new path and be guided into a new and hopefully better life.

    Thank you so much for being so supportive I’m eternally grateful!!

    Take care too!!

    Oscar 🙂

    #846199
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi lagatta,

    Thank you for your message!!
    What a sad story….I hope your neighbours cat is fully recovered and that she and her babies are at peace now.

    It’s hard but most people are saying Gretchen was too young….maybe that’s true….I’ll never now know.

    She seems to be sad but she’s doing much better!!

    Thank you for words of encouragement they have helped me with this decision.

    Oscar 🙂

    #846200
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi Kittyzee,

    Again Thank You so much for the support and wise words.
    I’m beginning to accept the situation a bit more but still with great difficulty.

    She is small and only 7 months so it’s possible it could have been a sad situation had I let her have her babies.

    You’re correct about the uncertain fate they could have faced….I would have made sure they went to loving homes but once they’re gone who knows what the new owners might have done.

    I will make an effort to be kind to myself and be ok with this as you mention because I don’t Gretchie to pick up on my emotions.
    My holistic lady told me that she forgives me and understands so I feel better for that.

    Thank You again for your time with this thread!!! I’m so so grateful to you and for all your kind words of support!!

    It’s eased my mind a lot and has helped with my grieving.

    Oscar 🙂

    #846201
    Oscar
    Participant

    Hi Tammy M.

    I’m so sorry to hear about your Bones 🙁 ahhh that must have been awful for you!!!
    And for him? too!!

    That really wasn’t your fault as young cats unfortunately just aren’t able to defend themselves in dangerous situations.
    I hope you’re feeling better about that and that you have new little friend to love and enjoy!

    Thank you for the tip about a rescue shelter…..I like it! In Athens, Greece there are so many cats on the streets 🙁 no one really bothers with them. Only a few kind souls but again they live outdoors and even though they are fed they aren’t spayed or neutered.

    I mean I wish people would get more in tune with this reality over here.

    Every spring and summer I find abandoned kittens [2 of which I kept last July 2015] Gretchen’s older ‘sisters’ well we say their sisters so Gretchen can feel more like part of the family.

    But it’s rife here.

    Thanks for the support and advice it’s so warming to know there are people who care and who offer up their time to support others and of course all the strays and abandoned animals.

    Keep up the wonderful work you’re doing for all those animals!!! I’m certain they’re so appreciative of all the love and support you give them 🙂 Well done to you!!

    Thanks for the kind support!

    Oscar 🙂

    #862807
    smokey
    Participant

    Oscar
    Signedup for Daily Kitten just to respond to this
    Babymama showed up to my house in the middle of the night starving with tittles full of milk
    Her tail hasbeen broken nearthe tip and she is feral
    Got her to let me pet her a little when I fed her
    Then she brought he kittens here, a boy and girl
    found a home for Patches the very small girl and decided to keep Smokey myself,the boy
    Did TNR (trap,neuter and return) on Babymama. The night before taking her in when trapped her, she was loving andpurring and letting me reach in and pet her
    The vet said it was probably the 1st time she ever felt safe
    Now that she is fixed, she forgot she is feral and thinks she is a house cat
    I have no idea if she was pregnant when she got fixed
    I do know thatif she was she does notfeel bad about nothaving them. Being a mama kitty is hard work. I truly believe that they have no problem with being happy, joyous and free
    Smoke’s mom

    #862810
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi Oscar,

    It doesn’t matter if BabyMama was pregnant or not. There are so many good reasons for having a kit fixed, esp. a feral kit. She is happy and feels safe and this is her future.

    PG

    #862815
    lagatta4
    Participant

    The vet discovered that my Livia was probably pregnant when she was spayed, but there were no formed kittens yet. Livia was also living in an alley and had worms and ear mites (all cleaned up by vets and myself) and was VERY underweight. She might not have survived motherhood. She wasn’t a kitten – about 2 years old, but looked like a six-month-old kitten. Still does, but she is doing fine. The streets are cruel. I have a friend of Greek origin who doesn’t even want to go on holiday there because she thinks the people treat animals badly. That used to be the case in Italy (not so much cruelty as neglect) but things are much better now.

    #862834
    Leeny
    Participant

    Oscar,

    The one thing that bothers me about this situation is that the vet made the decision rather than you. The vet’s suggestion seems to have meant more than your own thoughts and feelings about the situation.

    Don’t ever let anyone talk you into doing something you don’t want to do.

    #862858
    PollyMonster
    Participant

    Sorry, Oscar, I’ve only just seen your post. I agree with Leeny that your vet should not have made the decision for you, but I do think it was the right decision for Miss Gretchen, given your circumstances and that Miss Gretchen is so young. Like so many people here I’ve also been in that situation. Lulu was a little black cat who moved in with us off the street; she was already pregnant when I took her to be spayed. I felt dreadful about it but I had as many cats as I could cope with and did not think I’d have much chance of finding homes for her kittens. I didn’t ask how many – and, too late now, but you would probably not feel as bad about it if you did not know either. Two days later, Lulu had switched from acting like a mature cat to being a kitten again, and I am sure Miss Gretchen will do the same.

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