Severely Heartbroken

I had to put my kitten to sleep yesterday for reasons I cannot get around at all, the vet said things like “Brain dead”, “hypoglycemia”, and things like “You did mention seizures, FKS, and whatnot.” so I’m not sure if my kitten was put to sleep due to malpractice and laziness or if there was nothing that could honestly be done to save him. I said things like “I don’t know if this is a seizure or whatever, I’m scared” and telling them as many details as I can in a phone call after this horrific event seemed to subside.

Basically, early yesterday morning I had awoken to an awful smell in my room, so I sat up and immediately noticed in front of the door some vomit, then I looked over to the litter box and nothing is there. I hop up out of bed ready to scold my kitten thinkin’ he did his business elsewhere and he did, on himself, directly next to an air vent on the floor, laying almost lifeless. So I’m incredibly worried and I pick him up out of that area and rush downstairs to find no one around to help me, so I grab a towel and rush back upstairs and start frantically dialing numbers to get me to a vet. As I’m doing so, I laid him down in front of me and petting him keeping him comfortable.

This is everything that occurred within a few minutes while trying to secure a ride to the vet so bare with me:
What I noticed was he was completely immobile, unresponsive to anything but breathing heavily. I noticed saliva coming out of his mouth during all of this but then he started doing this swallowing motion, I lifted his head to notice his eyes dilated, staring at whatever was directly in front of him. I laid his head back down and pet him some more, while petting him he lifts his head and then rolls over in another position onto his back where’d he’d let out his very rare meow twice. I thought he came back to consciousness, so I adjusted him back into a comfortable position, continuing to keep him company, that’s when while petting him he’s start to arch his back like he was stretching but also bending his head backward toward his tail. I stopped petting and done so again, same reaction so I tried not to stimulate whatever that was anymore and backed off.

The swallowing motion started again and his mouth started to hang open, opening wider and wider and then his entire body went stiff like a rock, his mouth opening and closing, and I heard this moan come from him during this, I thought this was the end, his arms, legs, tail, everything stiff except his mouth opening and closing, I notice his tongue curled back, and his breathing slowed significantly and then it all stopped.

Now he was laying there, and he lifted his head and looked around like he was confused, before long he put his head back down and just laid on the towel looking exhausted, so I picked him up and held him. I managed to finally get someone to pick me up and we rushed him to the vet, on the way there, he went blank again, just staring into nothing and then did this unusual stretch, and continued to stare with his eyes changing in size from slits to dilated once at the vet, he just stared into my face, I waved fingers in front of him and there was nothing. I told them all of this, that I was incredibly unsure what happened, made suggestions to what I think it was and told them about things I read during the ride over. The vet said they can put on an IV and do blood work, so I left.

Hours later, I got a call about how the “Seizures were still happening and getting worse.” that he was “practically braindead”, and then there was mentions of hypoglycemia, mal-absorption, and so on. They said that, it’d be best to just put him down. I asked if there was anything that can be done and then I was told more bad news, that nothing could be done so I just gave him the go without ever getting the chance to see my kitten one last time. It’s been a rough day because of it.

Now mind you, I’ve only had him for two weeks, this kitten, I should say was a rescue because the elderly woman running the garage sale I bought him for a dollar from didn’t seem to give a damn about this cat, he was lying in dirt, sweating on one side, and looking very tired. He was extremely skinny with discharge coming from his eyes, his coat was very spiky and messy from malnutrition, his stomach popping and bubbling from worms and ear mites in both ears. This woman informed he was a third generation of kittens and that she called him “Chunky” despite the condition she left him in. I bought nothing else and left ASAP and drove to a store to get water, a litter box, and some food while setting up an appointment with the vet which was set for the following day. This was Tuesday last week, okay so, while there, I found out he was about 8-9 weeks old, that he didn’t have any feline Leukemia or anything too serious. I found he weighed a whole pound and that he needed to gain some weight to get any vaccinations. The vet gives him stuff for ear mites and some yellow stuff orally to combat worms and some eye medication. He would then send me home with a can of A/D canned food, and eye medication and suggested I give the kitten some chicken flavored baby food to help him gain weight. The vet said he was a bit underweight so we’d do vaccinations a week from now. Okay, so at this point knowing it’s possible to save him, I name him Ekko, get everything needed to be ready for the next vet visit which would be a week from then.

During that time, Ekko showed signs of improvement, incredible improvement, he was playful, his eyes gorgeous as ever, and you can feel a slight change in weight, nothing too noticeable but it felt like I was going to have a new companion in my life to love so I grew extremely attached to him, I’d have to clean his butt for him every so often but I’d cuddle and play with him quite a bit. I have pictures and videos to show his improvements. I did everything I was told.

Okay so this vet visit for vaccinations occurred JUST this past Tuesday, here’s what happened. The vet expressed concerns that Ekko wasn’t getting any nutrients and that his body wasn’t taking in or absorbing fat the way it should’ve. He only gained 6 ounces from the whole 1 pound he was the Tuesday before. So the vet went through and gave Ekko the first vaccination, a booster for distemper, was that whole 6 ounces the big decider to give him a booster? I brought a fecal sample as well, so while they administered the vaccine, they checked his business and found he still had worms, roundworms too. They were prepared to give us medication but found he was two underweight so they given him some of the same stuff they’d given him the week before.

So I went home with him and made sure to prepare for what was going to be even more diarrhea and possibly vomiting and he seemed exhausted after the visit so I didn’t pay any mind, then Wednesday came and he was very lethargic but he was still eating, still drinking, just tired is all. We did our usual watching movies and cuddling before bed, before long he’d go to the end of the bed, then he’d go down the makeshift stairs I put up for him so he didn’t have to drop very far and lay in his cat bed.

Then at 8:00 AM Thursday, yesterday, everything I mentioned above happened. I don’t know why it happened, I feel like there was more I could have done, that I failed him, I miss him so much and hate that things turned out the way they did, I hate it so much because even though he was only with me for a short while I had never felt happier to have him in my life and now he’s gone and I can’t stop coming back to that realization that he’s gone and keep crying over and over. I really, really miss him and just want to know why it happened, if he was put down for something that could have been resolved or if there was nothing that could be done. I’m sorry for this horrible introduction to the website but I hope someone can help me understand if it was my fault or not. I don’t like the fact that I need to put all his stuff I got him away, like his dishes, his little water fountain, his toys, his bed, his stairs, his litter box. It’s the worst feeling in the world though.