Really need to move-out SOON!

No wonder you are feeling so frustrated, Ange. Those are difficult conditions to live under.

Moving out with a non-working friend is a red flag. I definitely would not share expenses with someone who cannot afford to share. Maybe at some future time.

Is there anyone else who you work with that needs a roommate or has extra space to rent? Maybe closer to work?

Does mom not have any say-so in the home situation?

I agree you need to get out of the house. I hope you can come up with a viable solution. I can only support your decision, and send you positive energy. Good luck.

Hugs and purrs.

Ange…

I, too, agree you are in a difficult situation, and I can imagine it must look like a lose/lose one to you.

First, I think if you very nicely and lovingly put your goals in writing and give copies to your mother and step-dad, it will help the situation. State clearly and concisely that your goal is to move out, but don’t place any blame on anyone. Just say you know you are of the age, and your school schedule is such that you feel it’s best to be out on your own, and tell them how much you’ve appreciated everything they’ve done for you, and for providing a roof over your head. Tell them how much you love them. Suck up and be nice. Then state your goal — “I hope to be in a place of my own by (fill in a date).”

Ange, you may not like living with strangers, but perhaps it would be good for you to go out into the world and experience that. Can you find a few dollars to put a small ad in the newspaper that you are a student looking for a live-in tutoring position, or a home-schooling assistant position to give a home-schooling mom time off. You can also leave flyers with elementary schools in your area. State clearly that you seek a flexible schedule to complete your college courses, and then state your skills, such as help with teaching/tuturing, cleaning or cooking or gardening, or taking care of dogs and cats, as well. It’s worth a try for an immediate solution, and it may be fun. I took live-in baby sitter positions when I was in college away from home, because I preferred living in a family situation instead of a dorm. And it was fun! I even got to travel across Canada with one of those families and see things I might never have seen. I still keep in touch with some of those kids I babysat!

Good luck! I know things may look hopeless right now, but they never are. If you believe in prayer, be sure to quietly listen for God’s voice afterwards. He will give you the answers, but only if you listen.

Hugs and smiles, Ange.

Great advice, AZDeb, especially the part about not looking at a move as living with strangers, but moving on as an adult to live with other adults outside parents’ home. Wise words, indeed.

Jo, sorry didn’t really mean to aim it towards you….I know its for Ange, thats what happens when its time to go home and trying to hurry. So Ange, that last that I typed for Jo was meant for you. Jo, have a great night, gotta leave work early so I can make a med appt in the a.m…..ciao…

Ange, try to post something at the college. There’s sure to be people there looking for roommates. Jo said it well, it’s an experience to move away from home. Being on your own like that and taking care of yourself will give you a great feeling of accomplishment and it’ll be nice for you not to have to depend on your stepdad any longer.

I’m currently renting the back of a house with my own entry, bath and kitchen area for very little money. When my car died, I decided not to get another and spend the money. Now I’m living close enough to work and things that I can bike or take public transportation and save a lot on car payments, insurance and gas. I’m able to save up money, and eventually I’ll be able to move on with some money in the bank.

Anyway, you may be able to find a great living situation, renting a room somewhere, or finding a place to share with a roommate or two. You may even be able to continue saving up, so if your friend does find a steady job, you may still be able to find a place together. If the wait’s only until next summer, maybe you should just try the roommate situation untl then, and get out of your stepdad’s house while you wait.

Ange, I think Jo’s suggestion “put your goals in writing and give copies to your mother and step-dad”. Then maybe you can sit down and discuss what your plans are.

I am now working a temp assignment in Milpitas so I know what kind of traffic you are talking about. I also know about how expensive housing can be. I think the best option for you is to consider a share rental till you can save some money.

I wish you the best. You are an amazing person to work so hard and achieve so much. Hugs and purrs.

Good Evening: Here is another suggestion — try looking for and/or posting an ad in Craigslist. It is free and you may find something quickly. http://sfbay.craigslist.org/

Networker