OUCH! I said ouch!

Ouch is right..someone blew it.

My cousin was in a terrible train vs school bus accident many many many years ago. He woke up in the morgue – they had declared him dead, put a tag on his toe and everything. Bless his heart, he has never been the same.

Strangely enough, his DAD was in a similar accident but only cars were involved. There were people laying everywhere and the cops were telling the EMS people ‘this one’s dead,’ ‘that one’s dead,’ and when they got to my uncle and said that he opened one eye and said ‘I ain’t dead.’ We laughed about that for many many years. Even when my uncle passed away, we were all sort of chuckling at the funeral because we were sort of waiting for him to sit up in his casket and say ‘I ain’t dead.’

“It’s just a flesh wound!”

– Look at that body!

– Uhh, he’s just another stiff.

When I took an EMT (Emergency Medical Technician–you know, the guys in the ambulance) class last year, we were shown a slide of a Jeep upside down in front of a Dairy Queen. The instructor asked us what the first thing we should do was. I instantly replied “See if there’s any Blizzard left; it should still be in the cup!”

My old classmates still laugh with me about that one!

I’m Southern. With us, the biggest hassle at the funeral is keeping the beer rings offa the casket.

More Monty Python Holy Grail flashbacks.

“Bring out your dead”

“I’m not dead yet!”

I’m always late to the party these days. 🙁

Higher education is really cutting into my social life.

“I’m feeling much better now. think I’ll go for a walk”