Of course nurses have always known this

Wow I can’t believe it. I just can’t believe it. How can Doctors be that insensitive?

<–Not a doctor or a nurse here but I work with them every day. I do know they are insensitive. I also know from having had my two brain surgeries. UGH, and people respect them so much.

I know I would rather be treated by a nurse practitioner than a doctor! They are sooooo nice and thorough!

Forgive me but most doctors suck! =(

A few years back a dear friend of mine was dying of aggressive breast cancer that had spread to her liver, bones, spine, and brain. I went to visit her (she lived in a different state several days drive away) for a week and found that no one, not her doctors, not her husband, no one, had told her she was dying even after brain surgery. And, a full year after her masectomy no one had ever taken her to get the breast prothesis she had a prescription for and that insurance would fully pay for.

It was left to me to take her to get fitted with the prothesis and bra for it. Having done that with my mom some years earlier, I knew what to expect and at my friend’s request stayed with her in the fitting room.

And when she started asking questions about whether or not she was dying, I told her the truth. We’d been roomies in college and dear friends ever since. No way I was hiding the truth from her. She needed an honest answer to confirm what she already knew from the way her condition was rapidly declining. I think her husband simply didn’t know how to tell her and was afraid to face the truth himself.

I spent the week I was there taking her places she wanted to see one last time, like the zoo, or just driving around town to see places that held special memories, like their first house, etc. I gave her my late mom’s cane and walker with my dad’s blessing. No one had even gotten her those things to help her be able to leave her house.

And I pushed her husband into contacting hospice care, getting long overdue Social Security disability for her so there would be some money for the children, getting her husband to contact family counseling for their boys, etc. And I cried myself to sleep every night for a month to find no one had done anything for my dear friend all that time and that I hadn’t realized months earlier she needed that much help and been there for her sooner when it could have made so much more difference to her final 18 months of life.

How could all the doctors have never told her she was dying so she could come to terms with that and find some peace ahead of time? I just can’t fathom why they never told her.

I dlnt even want to begin talking about dr’s. That would just start me fuming. Reading what marnet said though got me thinking. I think there is a general assumption amongs people as patients that drs will tell them about things like hospice. And i believe they should do it, but sadly i dont think dr’s see patients as human beings, they just see a patient number and a case file. I’ve had surgeons operate on me who couldnt even remember my name or surname afterwards. Its upsetting. I’ve been fortunate enough not to have any of my family members die or get some serious illnessess like cancer – and i just dont know about stuff like hospice & canes and what people might need. I think if you have the experience and you know what to expect thats a good thing, and i dont mean anything nasty by saying that.. Maybe its just possible that family members are so wrapped up in their own minds and whats happening to them (losing a loved one) that they dont consider the compassion needed by their loved one. Like i said, no personal experience on the subject. Just thinking out loud here.

he family

i think the problem comes in when people dont even know that things like hospice or disability payments are available to them. Whose responsibility is it to inform people of what their options are? Like I didnt even know about the disability thing untill i read about now.

Anyone remember when Doctors made House Calls? That is almost laughable now.

You are lucky to get an appt. For specialists sometimes waiting months for an appt.

God bless all the people who work with Hospice.