26 October, 2010 at 5:59 pm #41281
Hey everyone! I just adopted a 4 month old sweet baby boy that I named Desi just 3 days ago…and I’m already thinking of bringing him back to the shelter, which is breaking my heart. Desi is so very loving and affectionate and I LOVE him for that. But if I’m not paying attention to him (petting, nuzzling, etc) he will begin this howling/yelling/screeching/crying that I’ve never heard any cat ever do before! Even if I’m in the same room with him and just unable to hold him…but it’s obviously worse if I’m in a different room. I have a spare bedroom that I made his room…I have to keep him in there at night because he will just howl when I’m trying to sleep. I also keep him in there when I’m gone because I think the howling is so much worse when he’s left to roam free.
I realize that it’s only been 3 days but my fear is that if I wait it out and it doesn’t get much better then it’s that much harder on both of us to have to return him. Also, his sister is still at the shelter and my thought is that maybe someone who can take on 2 cats will adopt them both and he will be happier. (I just can’t do 2 cats right now.) I feel so horrible even thinking of bringing him back but I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated!! 🙂 Thank you! ~Erica26 October, 2010 at 6:13 pm #608404
Welcome Erica with newbie Desi. Click on pink tags on upper right of this page esp crying. There is some helpful info with related threads. He may be freightened of his new surroundings. Put him in a smaller room with a comfy sleep area and a little soft toy like beenie animal to cuddle and some food & water. Has he been checked out by vet too for any health challenges etc. Hang in there purrs & headbonks to you both!26 October, 2010 at 6:15 pm #608405
Erica, thank you for adopting Desi!
Has Desi been looked at by a vet to make sure he is healthy? You want to rule out any medical problems for his hollering first. If he gets a clean bill of health from the vet, here are some suggestions for you:
He misses his sister/siblings/mom. Get him a couple of stuffed animals he can curl up with when he is sleeping. They will help keep him warm and simulate another kitten sleeping with him. You can also wrap a ticking clock in a blanket and let him sleep with that…it mimics his mothers heartbeat.
Also, carry him around with you while you are doing stuff about the house. Desi would like to bond with you, more than likely, so maybe you can fashion a sling of some sort to carry him in? Hopefully, this will help calm him down too.26 October, 2010 at 6:41 pm #608406
Thanks for the tips! I completely understand that he probably misses his sister…they were the last of 10 in the litter that were found and he was at the shelter for 2 months. I just didn’t expect this constant howling!! I do have to make him an appointment with my own vet but the shelter vet gave him a clean bill of health. I’m praying that it gets better in the next couple days…like I said, it’s breaking my heart to think of returning him but maybe he needs to be adopted with another kitten?
Do you think keeping him in the spare room is ok until he gets used to being there? It’s set up as a bedroom and I’ve found him sleeping on the bed…I have him a soft blanket and a sweatshirt of mine, of course his litter box, food/water, and toys. I even leave the TV on for some quiet noise. I want to make sure I’m doing the right things for him! 🙂26 October, 2010 at 6:53 pm #608407
Erica, sounds like you are doing the right things! Please don’t think about returning him because of his howling…I know it will get better. You will be able to give him just as much love as someone with more than one kitty. It would be a good idea to get him a playmate BUT it’s not always necessary. I only have my Roxy, I got her when she was 6 weeks old and she is now 7 months old. Some kitties are just normally very talkative and some aren’t. It took Roxy a few days to adjust to me and my apartment. I was a first time kittymom too and I remember thinking “Why isn’t she eating or drinking or pottying or playing?!?!?!” Roxy was actually very quiet but she poked around and got to know her new home. The older she gets, the more she talks to me 🙂
And yes, keeping Desi in a safe room is the best bet. Just make sure he has everything he needs but it sounds like you already have that covered! When you are home, spend as much time cuddling him as possible and give the little man time to adjust…sounds like he is a very loving kitty!26 October, 2010 at 7:09 pm #608408
Thanks, Roxy’s Mommy! Desi is SUCH a loving kitty which is why I love him so much already. I’m going to give him some more time and see how he does. I just don’t want him to be unhappy. What should I be doing when I’m home and he does this howling? Try to ignore it? Talk to him so he knows I’m there? I don’t want to condition him to think that he can howl and I’ll pay attention to him, you know? I really appreciate the help! 🙂26 October, 2010 at 7:26 pm #608409
Well, in my opinion, he is howling because he is in a different place without momma or siblings so yes, you should pay attention to him. He needs to know you are his new kitty mom. Hopefully, this will help ease his fears and help him transition to your place. One TDK’er wrote about how she put a (much) smaller kitten in her bra and carried him around! LOL It’s one thing to reward his behaviour when he is doing something bad like begging for food or playing too rough with your hands but he is your baby who is adjusting. Smother Desi as much as he wants! 🙂26 October, 2010 at 7:28 pm #608410
Also, there are some products out there that help with anxiety of all sorts (separation, carrier, car rides, introducing new pets etc). They are called Feliway and Bach’s Rescue Remedy. I have not tried any of these products but other TDK’ers have and swear by them. Hopefully one of them will see this thread and give you their input on them to help you out.26 October, 2010 at 7:57 pm #608411
I just looked those both up online…I’d definitely love to hear what people on here have to say!! They sound like they could defintitely help Desi!! 🙂26 October, 2010 at 8:37 pm #608412
Aww, don’t give up on the little guy. When my cat’s sister got adopted (I was fostering them both for awhile), he howled for about a month looking for her. He is still whiny when he wants attention, but he is just a talker. Please keep him! As he feels more secure, he will cry less. You may have a talkative cat like me though, so maybe do not expect him to be the silent type. 🙂26 October, 2010 at 8:44 pm #608413
Go ahead and respond to him; please don’t be upset with him! At his age, it’s normal for an anxious kitten to call for its mama until she responds. So definitely answer him and appear, to let him know that everything’s okay. At least provide him reassurance that you’re there verbally, by answering with his name, if you can’t drop what you’re doing to go to him.
As he becomes more secure and less anxious, he may talk less, or at least he’ll become less strident. Another kitty really wouldn’t be a bad idea; two are not any more trouble than one, and they keep each other company when you’re not there. Are you positive you can’t adopt his sister, too?26 October, 2010 at 10:31 pm #608414
I echo what the others have said. Just talk back to him with normal conversation so he knows you are responding to him.
If you play with him energetically for 10-15 minutes, before you go to work and before you go to bed, he’s more likely to sleep quietly for a longer time.
Obviously you can’t hold him all the time, but he’ll only be a kitten for a little while so give him as much lap/carry time as you can. The more cuddling he gets now, the more likely he’ll be a cuddle-bunny when he grows up.27 October, 2010 at 12:29 am #608415
You’ve got some great advice above and I agree wholeheartedly with the others, please talk back to him and smother him with attention when he asks for it. Desi looks part-Siamese to me, or at least part Oriental, and they are well known and loved for being very vocal kitties. I think you have just picked yourself a talker, and it’s part of what makes Oriental cats special! You will never be wondering what Desi is thinking, he will let you know 🙂27 October, 2010 at 12:36 am #608416
From Wikipedia: (remember that Desi is only part-Siamese though, if he IS Siamese, your vet could probably tell you):
Siamese are affectionate and very intelligent cats, renowned for their social nature. Many enjoy being with people and are sometimes described as “extroverts”. As there are extrovert Siamese, there also are some that have very sensitive and nervous temperaments. Those individuals may not easily adapt to the changes of environment or to strangers. They do have a great need for human companionship. Often they bond strongly to a single person. Most Siamese like to have other sociable cats for company and do not thrive as only cats owned by people who are gone much of the day. Siamese are extremely vocal, with a loud, low-pitched voice â€“ known as “Meezer”, from which they get one of their nicknames â€“ that has been compared to the cries of a human baby, and persistent in demanding attention. These cats are typically active and playful, even as adults, and are often described as more dog-like in behavior than other cats27 October, 2010 at 1:15 am #608417
Definitely don’t return him… he is most likely very vocal. My mother had this one cat and if he wasn’t able to get into a room my mother was in such as the bathroom…he would yowl and cry and make all of these obnoxious noises until she came out. Literally he was writing his operas…these long annunciated yowlings
But my boyfriend loves making his cat noises, he thinks he can talk to them…yes he’s very in touch with his inner kitty…
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