Kitten/Older cat adjustment issues. Advice?

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  pussigato 1 year, 5 months ago.

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  • #848771

    Sammi
    Participant

    I know it’s been only a day but I’ve never really had this sort of thing happen before and I’ve had MANY cats/kittens over the years.

    I adopted a 10 week old little girl from a lady on craigslist, she is a little huffy/hissy/growly when cuddled/kissed too much but is overall really sweet. She kept her and her siblings in a closet most of the time because her lab mix had a tendency to chase them so she didn’t get a lot of one on one interaction. She’s absolutely terrified of my older cats, Sebastian and Vincent (although not nearly as bad as yestrday). I get that. That I can work with. She’s afraid cause they are so much bigger than her. It’s this that I’m worried about though:

    Vincent was a rescue that was a kitten thrown out of a moving vehicle and feral for a few weeks before the lady I adopted him from was able to gain his trust and catch him. He does not like ANYONE but me and he gets jealous of Sebastian, who was here first and he grew up with. Usually all he does is butt in for affection when I’m trying to love on Sebastian and it’s never turned ugly.

    Okay, now the issue that I’m worried about. I don’t really have the option of separating the kitten from the older cats. Sebastian is used to kittens and is like, get away from me or I’ll hiss at you *runs away* but he eventually adjusts. Vincent on the other hand has been the baby for the last year and he has the jealousy/possessive issues over me and several times he’s intently watched the kitten and then charged her, swatting once or twice and hissing. I intervene, but he’s seemed to be stalking her at times too and if she gets too close he WILL swat her while hissing. I’m SURE it’s just an adjustment period but I’m worried that he won’t get used to her and will continue to swat her and possibly get nastier and hurt her. I don’t really have the option to separate them. They have to remain in my room while I’m asleep, otherwise the boys can get out to get relief until they adjust but then I’m having to close them away from me to keep her in. I do have a large walk in closet, but she yowls so bad being stuck somewhere that I wouldn’t be able to sleep through that. I was thinking of closing the boys in there at night but I’m concerned they will come to resent the kitten.

    Is Vincent’s behavior pretty normal? Or do I have reason to worry that he’ll escalate into violent attacks? Will they resent me if I close them in the closet at night? Thanks for any help!

    • This topic was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Sammi.

    #848775

    pussigato
    Participant

    Is there a reason you felt the need to adopt this kitten? Can you give the kitten to another loving home?

    It is a territorial thing and will take more time. In fact, you should start over. Vincent is jealous because he has been your baby and his behavior reflects that attitude. You’re going to have give Vincent lots of loving while she’s not around. Then give her lots of loving while he’s not around. Of course, don’t forget Sebastian in the lovings. Once they start getting use to each other you can start putting them together.

    http://icatcare.org/advice/how-introduce-kitten-cat

    I wish I could give you better advice. Purrhaps another TDKer can give you something.

    #848777

    Sammi
    Participant

    Vincent is very high energy while Sebastian is very low energy and lazy, I adopted her as a future playmate for Vincent because of that. He’s constantly irritating Sebastian so bad with his desire to play that it’s been stressing him out.

    I do exactly that, I’ve been giving them all equal amounts of love and even playing with them separately and together. They all get along when I have the toys out. Yesterday it was mainly the kitten that was freaking out so bad and she actually scared the boys pretty badly with her dramatics (although I understand her reaction considering the dog in the home I got her from that chased her and her siblings, so I do understand her fear.) so it’s just odd that today he’s acting that way now. And another weird thing, he only does it when the bedroom door is open and they all have free run of the house. When in the bedroom he doesn’t act that way at all towards her. He just avoids her and sleeps in the closet where him and Sebastian usually sleep.

    Either way, I think I’ll give it a week or so, maybe two and if things don’t even out between their dynamic or if he gets any nastier then I’ll find her a new home. I just hope I don’t have to do that. I’ve really fallen in love with her so I’ll be bummed, but if it comes to that of course what matters the most in the end is her safety and happiness.

    #848778

    pussigato
    Participant

    You’re doing the right things and I hope they all settle down. Sometimes, it just doesn’t work out. When I lost my Loki I introduced my wee guy to my older girl. She’s 3 years older then LilBit…it is still a challenge. She doesn’t fight with him though.

    #848784

    Kittyzee
    Participant

    This all sounds like normal cat interactions to me. Of course it takes time, and each cat has their own ‘baggage’ that they bring with them, just like we humans do. 😉 You will have to make sure she is safe from any attacks, but patience is a must. You mentioned playing, especially together with toys. They will realize they can all play and actually not have anything to fear from each other. Just make sure the boys when they are playing with wand toys don’t accidentally jump and fall on her causing her injury or scare the crap out of her. Then slowly try to feed them together in the same room with their bowls spaced far apart. Then gradually bring their bowls closer until they are all eating in close proximity to each other.

    How to Introduce a Second Cat

    #848785

    Kittyzee
    Participant

    There are actually two links to check above. The you tube video, and the second one in pink italics below it. Good luck! Let us know how they are doing!

    #848789

    Sammi
    Participant

    Good news!

    Apparently they had some sort of epiphany while I slept and hashed things out amongst themselves last night (non-verbally/violently of course LOL)? I think they’re starting to get along! Freya (that’s what I named her) isn’t all hissy and growly and startled so easy by them anymore (not any worse than kittens NORMALLY get startled by something so big appearing next to them while they’re distracted lmao) although she still arches a little when they startle her, it’s nothing compared to how it was. Vincent’s also starting to regard her less hatefully and more of in a way like, you look like something I might want to play with (of course I won’t let him get rough with her and supervise) and not kill for being here. And when Sebastian actually came up to smell her neck this morning she leaned into him a little! He’s totally adjusting to her and I think he even likes her! She was sleeping with me last night and he came and laid next to me and her (I knew he was there cause she hissed). Before that I thought I was gonna have to rehome her because of something Vincent did that actually made me cry with guilt. I was sitting with the boys for a good half hour last night in the closet before bed, giving them both lots of love and pets and cuddles, when I got up to leave, Vincent moved to the doorway and sat down, looking up at me with the most soulfully sad expression. It broke my heart. And now.. he seems okay? Weird. But I was prepared to look for a new home for her today and now I don’t think I’ll have to! When I woke up I got him and held, kissed, petted, cuddled him for a good twenty minutes like I always do every morning, talked to him lots, did the same with Sebastian (although he’s not as lovey as Vincent and needy with my time but I still did it for as long as he’d allow) and things seem better today!

    I’ll keep everyone posted on how things continue! And thank you for the links!

    Hopefully this works. This is Freya and then here are the boys. Vincent is the black one and Sebastian is the ragdoll mix.


    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Sammi.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by  Sammi.
    #848794

    Kittyzee
    Participant

    Wow, those are 3 adorable cats! And yes, I don’t think you will have to rehome her. We are not talking days here, I was talking weeks to months of them getting used to each other. You give them time, and use the tools in the videos, you will be okay!

    #848801

    CatWScotia
    Participant

    That sounds much more hopeful! Of course you’ll keep an eye on them for a while, to be on the safe side, but it sounds as though they’re going to be great pals before long.

    Must admit, I’ve found male cats seem to be better able to accept a newcomer than females, who can be a bit reluctant to let anyone new into the nest sometimes. Rincewind was eleven when Merlin arrived, aged three and a half months, so I took care to separate their food bowls for their first meal, which was given to them about half an hour after they first met.

    What happened? Well – first of all, they each went to the other one’s meal . . . and half-way through, they casually swapped bowls and finished off each other’s. That was the pattern for every meal time from that day forward.

    Your three will be just fine, I bet. May you have many happy years together to enjoy them!

    😀

    #848805

    pussigato
    Participant

    I’m so happy to hear your babies are moving forward. It does take time and not everyone has patience. Your boys are gorgeous and wee Freya looks so cute.

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