Kitten missing for two months. Should I let go?

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by Profile photo of Aelle Aelle 1 month, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #854585
    Profile photo of Aelle
    Aelle
    Participant

    On October 2nd, my seven-month-old kitten slipped out of the house without us noticing. It was like she completely disappeared; when we realized she was gone, there was absolutely no trace of her whatsoever. There are loose dogs in my neighborhood that we heard in our front yard that night–they were barking like crazy and we’re fairly sure the kitten didn’t even make it out of the yard that night. But we saw no blood, no body, no signs of a scuffle, nothing. So we operated under the assumption that she was missing, not dead, and went about putting up posters and knocking on doors. We checked the animal shelter several times and put her picture up on missing pet websites. It’s been two months now and there hasn’t even been a whisper of her since her disappearance.

    We’ve come back to our original theory that the loose dogs killed her, but it’s still so hard to accept. The dogs that we suspect killed her live directly across the street and often lay in my front yard (which is why my cats are not allowed to go out there), so if they had killed her I would expect some sort of remains would be either in my yard or my neighbor’s yard. I’ve asked my neighbors and they haven’t seen anything either. At this point I almost wish I could confirm somehow that she’s dead…the occasional resurgence of hope whenever I think “there’s no proof that she’s dead” is making the grieving process so much harder. I want to have hope and I also want to heal, and I can’t have both.

    Even if she somehow got away from the dogs, my neighborhood is not safe for cats to roam. If the dogs don’t get them, the birds of prey will. Logically speaking, I know that the chances of a seven-month-old kitten surviving in the wild (specifically, my neighborhood, which is full of predators) for this long are close to zero. It hurts my heart to see her toys packed away and to see an empty cat tree in my living room, but I feel like there’s nothing left for me to do except move on.

    I’m just so afraid of letting go too soon. If, by some miracle, she’s still out there somewhere and needs my help, I’d never forgive myself for giving up on her. I’m torn between doing what’s best for me and doing everything I can for a pet that may very well have been gone for a long time.

    #854591
    Profile photo of Kittyzee
    Kittyzee
    Participant

    Welcome to TDK Aelle,
    Such a sad story. I am so sorry that this has happened. Sadly, it does. I live on a farm in the country and have lost many cats to predators, namely coyotes. This was back when I fed many cats outside and they were tame of course, and used to our dogs which made them more of a target for coyotes since they had no fear.

    I cannot tell you what to do, but I do feel your pain and heartbreak. Even if you do move on, you haven’t forgotten your sweet kitten and if she should reappear, you can still rejoice and bring her back into the fold.

    Sometimes it helps to just say what’s in your heart to people who understand. No one judges anyone here, we love our cats and aren’t afraid to say it. It’s hard to move forward when your heart is broken. When the time is right for you, you will open your heart to another kitten as there are so many who need a home, and love and comfort.

    Feel free to hang out here, read the threads of many who have lost their beloveds, and stop in to the cafe–a virtual place where the resident kitties serve up bevvies and food for those of us who drop by to relax!

    #854592
    Profile photo of Aelle
    Aelle
    Participant

    Thank you for the kind words. It does help to just express how I’m feeling right now; I’ve tried talking to my mother, but it just makes her sad too. I’d rather not add my grief on top of her own–she’s been taking it especially hard because she was the one who noticed that the dogs were being unusually loud that night, but she didn’t think anything of it. I’ve told her not to let the guilt get to her like that. Neither of us had any idea that the kitten wasn’t in the house–she got out mere minutes before we both went to sleep.

    Like your cats, she was also used to my dogs and likely had no fear of my neighbor’s loose dogs. I try not to think about what must have happened, but she probably didn’t even think to run away from them.

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