I accidentally squished my kitten mamas in my sleep yesterday night.

Home The Daily Kitten Cat Chat Forum Cats & Kittens I accidentally squished my kitten mamas in my sleep yesterday night.

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  • #846874
    brianne
    Participant

    My brother came in the house crying tje other day he said there killing them and I said killing what he said some kittens there throwing them in the air and letting them drop on the cement. So me and my mom went outside to go see who and what was happening the kids that where killing them had to be like 8. We told them why they where killing them and they left. Later my brother comes in and says this ones alive it was a baby brownish kitten maybe 2 days old so we took it in and because I do online schooling and my mom works I always took care of the kitten I loved her I would wake up every 2 hours to feed her I named her mamas and ooh I loved her so much she thought I was her mom because I fed her and she was literary with me 24/7. Yesterday night she barely opened her eyes she got to see me for the first time she got to see everything for the first time but that night I fell asleep with her next to me I didn’t put her in her box and I woke up and she was like flat and there was pee around her I knew she was dead she didn’t move or nothing I stared freaking out and I grabbed her and I ran to my moms room screaming she’s dead I squished her I killed her she’s dead my mom started yelling at me saying I knew that was gonna happen I knew you were gonna kill her I told her to stop saying that I already feel so horrible but she kept telling me stuff and I was crying telling her to stop and she just started calling everyone telling them the cats dead she squished it. I dug a whole in the yard and I gave mamas a lot of kisses I was sitting there kissing her saying I’m so sorry mamas I love you I’m sorry and I buried her I then went inside and my mom started to tell me stuff again but I just went in the shower and I sat in the shower under the water for an hour just crying saying I’m sorry mamas I love you I’m sorry I squished you I’m sorry I forgot to out you in your box if I would’ve just put you in your box you would still be alive I was sitting in the shower crying saying I couldn’t take this no more everything I do good always ends in something bad I was saying just take me already take me I’m done I give up let me get shot or hit by a car or something I’m done I wanna be with mamas, pumpkin, beauty, Lucy(my dead dogs) I said take me so i can be with with grandpa Gordon with baby Gordon with uncle Billy take me so I don’t have to keep on messing up take me please I give up I’m done just take me when I got out I keepd on telling myself I’m a murder I killed her I said it over and over again and I didn’t stop until my mom came to my room she was trying to hand me some money and she said you need to get out of the house go get coffee or something you can’t stay home crying all day I didn’t take the money I said I can’t mom I cant I killed her and my mom started to cry and said why didn’t you put her in her in her box and I said I fell asleep then I said I killed and she said no you didn’t it was an accident and she hugged me and I said no I killed her the person she trusted the most the person who she thought was her mom the person that keeped her alive the first few days the person that was with her 24/7 the person that was happiest to see her and be with her killed her my mom left the room crying she had to get ready for work but I remaind and still am in my bed right now crying about my lil mamas. I can’t even look at my doh Daisy she’s never had babies and she was so happy about mamas she acted like the mom too and she was so good at it and I know she knows she’s gone cause she was looking for her and she couldn’t find her and know she looks depressed her ears are down her tail is down and she’s been laying down all day just like me. I feel so bad I do not feel like I should still live I took an innocent kittens life I have to live with his forever I do not feel like I have the right to still go on with my life when I took one away. I am 15 my names brianne I’m home alone and I have no one to talk to I’m to embarrassed to tell any of my friends that I killed my kitten by squishing it, I have not ate I have not drinken anything and I plan not to for awhile my kitchens down the hall but I’m scared if I go it won’t be for something to eat but to go be with mamas and my dead family.

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    #846897
    jcat
    Participant

    Brianne, if you are for real, and this has happened to you (sometimes we get trolls who make up stories), then I am very, very sorry. I know what you are going through seems unbearable. But you have to forgive yourself. You did everything you could to give this baby a chance at life and if you accidentally lay on her, then it was just that — an accident. I do not think you can be sure that it was that that killed her. Tiny kittens are very fragile and if she had been ill treated by being thrown onto the concrete, as you describe, I think it is very likely that she had brain damage or internal injuries that might have killed her. All of us who have tried to save kittens have had disasters and have lost them, kittens before the age of four weeks who lose their mums are terribly hard to raise; they die for all sorts of reasons and it’s quite likely she died of natural reasons — even without having been injured first, the death rate for abandoned unweaned kittens is very very high, around 40%. There is no way of knowing whether your little one would have made it, even without this terrible accident.

    You are only fifteen. But you have a great heart. You need to keep on going because the world needs more people like you who care about and try to help animals. I know you will go on to help many more animals because you obviously love them and we need people like you to help stop people like those horrid children who hurt the kittens, and to rescue the little ones. Sometimes terrible accidents happen: people’s kittens get outside accidentally and run over, sometimes in the garage or driveway, they climb into washing machines without getting noticed and drown, they are curious little things and the world is full of dangers for them. Please don’t ever ever think about hurting yourself, the animals need you for all the good you will do in your life for them, everyone makes mistakes. Talk to your mum about how you are feeling or your doctor, ring Samaritans or a helpline, please get some support. Mamas would forgive you, she knows you loved her and tried to help her, we who love cats forgive you too.

    #846904
    jcat
    Participant

    DON’T think the world is better off without you. IT’S NOT. Your family and your friends and most of all the animals NEED YOU!

    #885533
    Mark
    Participant

    Brianna today I did something bad to and I’m heart broken I already had a bad day geting my fingers stuck in the door and crushing the hell out of my fingers well my middle finger and ring finger hurt like hell and my kittens?my sweet kittens I was sleeping with my two kittens that were about 2 weeks old well I heared squirming and I kill one of my kittys sleeping on it and I got so mad I spent 5 mins trying to bring it back to life but nothing seemed to work so I told him sorry and told his brother I’m sorry for killing him full of sadness I was just mad at myself for doing that well I went outside and bury him and crying still I’m so mad and sad but I went in side and started hugging my other kitten that was still alive crying and telling him sorry for crushing him but now I know never sleep with anything that’s smaller than you I’m just ganna sleep and make my broken heart go away I’m just so out of words but if u want to talk I guess about problems Idk I guess hmu on snap walters5976 u don’t have to but if u want then cool

    #885534
    Mark
    Participant

    Brianna today I did something bad to and I’m heart broken I already had a bad day geting my fingers stuck in the door and crushing the hell out of my fingers well my middle finger and ring finger hurt like hell and my kittens?my sweet kittens I was sleeping with my two kittens that were about 2 weeks old well I heared squirming and I kill one of my kittys sleeping on it and I got so mad I spent 5 mins trying to bring it back to life but nothing seemed to work so I told him sorry and told his brother I’m sorry for killing him full of sadness I was just mad at myself for doing that well I went outside and bury him and crying still I’m so mad and sad but I went in side and started hugging my other kitten that was still alive crying and telling him sorry for crushing him but now I know never sleep with anything that’s smaller than you I’m just ganna sleep and make my broken heart go away I’m just so out of words but if u want to talk I guess about problems Idk I guess hmu on snap walters5976 u don’t have to but if u want then cool

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