I accidentally killed my kitten


Home The Daily Kitten Cat Chat Forum Purrs I accidentally killed my kitten

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  • #30007
    Avatar of sadandsorry
    sadandsorry
    Participant

    I just accidentally killed my kitten. I was walking outside my apartment when he ran underfoot and I stepped directly on his head. He died within 10 minutes after this. I’ve been crying and seeking someone to talk to about this. I know I didn’t mean to do it, but I feel terrible nonetheless. Within a half hour of this incident, I called the TBN (Trinity Broadcast Network) hotline to see if someone would have a kind word for me and got the coldest of responses from a person who was only interested in dismissing me and getting off the phone as quickly as possible. The whole conversation took less than 30 seconds. The quickest of rehearsed prayers I’ve ever heard from a voice completely void of emotion or a kind word of compassion, then silence.

    I feel so bad about what happened. I have been raising three kittens and their mother since they were abandoned by my next door neighbors who moved out. I thought I was being a benefit to this cat family as no-one else would take them in, but now I feel terrible for what happened. The mother cat and kittens don’t seem afraid of me, they are as loving as ever, even though they were right beside the kitten when the accident occurred. I wonder if they now I’m responsible for this terrible accident.

    I am disabled and have been trying to find more appropriate housing for the three kittens (now two) and their mother for three months now, which is the age of the kittens since I took them in as they were just born when they came into my home. I can’t say how many organizations I’ve been trying to contact to see if anyone could help take them in, but they number in the dozens. Now, because of my disability, I see that I can be a real danger to them. If anyone knows someone who lives in the Los Angeles area who would be willing to help take any of these kittens, I would be extremely appreciative. I am disabled and don’t have a car to transport any of them which makes finding these kitties a safer home very difficult. Thank you for any help that can be offered.

    #466010
    Avatar of AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew
    AZDEBRA 5/27 & crew
    Participant

    Sorry to hear about the kitten, SAS. Unfortunately it happens at times :(

    #466011
    Avatar of Annie R
    Annie R
    Participant

    SAS I am so sorry for your loss, please don’t blame yourself. You have been an angel to the momma and her kittens, that is why they are still loving to you. I don’t know about rescue groups in the LA area, but having access to the PC should help you do some research. Bless you for giving this little kitty family a home. {{{SAS}}}

    #466012
    Avatar of katthays
    katthays
    Participant

    SAS, I am so sorry for your loss, but it WAS an accident and these things DO happen…..I would feel the same as you, but it could not be helped….kittens are notorious for always being underfoot….this same thing happened to my friend’s son, when he was little he accidently stepped on a kitten and it did not survive. You are wonderful to rescue and love the ones you have! I live in WI, so I am no help, but I hope you can find homes for your kitts and please forgive yourself!

    #466013
    Avatar of nawlins-catmom
    nawlins catmom
    Participant

    Dear SAS – Please do not beat yourself up over this, it was an accident… When I was young my father ran over my kitten with the car, because it had been sitting on the wheel in the garage… it is NOT your fault. You gave the kitten a loving home, and it is now over the Rainbow Bridge, happy and whole again. The rest of the cat family loves you still, because you have and continue to love and care for them… I wish you luck in your placement efforts, but do not think that because you have a disability you should not have pets – I am legally blind and find my cats a tremendoous comfort… {{{Hugs to SAS and cat family}}}

    #466014

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know you feel badly, but accidents happen. I accidentally ran over one of my favorite cats with my young children in the car. I was devastated. Time will heal your wounds. Be strong for the mama cat and remaining kits. They still need you. It is ok. Don’t despair too much. Wishing you peace of heart.

    Tinafish from the birthplace of Elvis and the Rock n Roll gang.

    #466015
    Avatar of ailuromaniac
    ailuromaniac
    Participant

    SAS, Repeating what has already been said, accidents happen. Your disability, what ever it is does not make you a danger to your kitty family. If you are seeking to rehome the family for that reason, don’t. Your care and concern makes you an ideal kitty parent. They can get into enough trouble on their own even in homes of people without physical challenges.

    If you are seeking new homes for them for economic reasons to ensure they have homes as caring as yours who can better provide their needs, please consider keeping the Mom at least. As an adult she will be the hardest to place.

    It is more important that this little family be prevented from becomming a huge cat colony. If mom has not been spayed, she needs that immediately and the kittens should soon follow as they mature at about 5 months.

    Best of luck.

    #466016
    Avatar of sadandsorry
    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Thank you everyone, you have no idea how much these comments mean to me. Strangely, though they make me feel much better, they also make me cry all the more as I read each of them. I think this is a reaction to everyone’s kindness, me being so overwhelmed by people reaching out in love to someone they don’t even know. I’m somewhat isolated where I live in the city of Huntington Park, Ca, since there are extremely few people here who speak English. Although the Internet may be a good way to connect with people, I don’t normally post comments on websites so The Daily Kitten is a Godsend to me. And although I still feel awful, I see the truth of your comments, that it was an accident. I feel this will be a life-changing experience for me, causing me to take stock of my life and make some changes. I’ve been considering my position here, stuck at home writing poetry and not sharing it with anyone. This will change. One of my poems I wrote only a couple of weeks ago is about a cat and I now feel compelled to share it: This will be the first time I have shared my poetry with anyone.

    The More Things Change

    I used to be a city cat

    Who was stuck inside all day.

    With little to do I grew fat;

    Oh how I longed to play

    And just have fun

    And lounge in the sun

    And carouse with other cats.

    But twas not to be,

    Not allowed for me,

    The chasing of mice and rats.

    I stayed by the window most of the time

    And saw the world pass me by.

    Never for me a fence to climb;

    I could only glimpse the sky

    Between buildings tall

    Where I wished to crawl,

    But this I was denied.

    I implored,

    But was ignored;

    I could never go outside.

    The window thus was my world

    And as I lay upon its sill

    I’d stay for hours tightly curled

    Staring through a grill

    At other cats fighting,

    It seemed so exciting;

    Why couldn’t I join the throng

    Of alley cats bringing

    Their full-throated singing

    That lasted the whole night long?

    I always tried to get out, of course

    like any smart cat would

    If not by persuasion, then by force,

    But it did me little good.

    I’d get caught straight away

    Without delay

    When I’d attempt escape.

    I’d never succeed to be free,

    Since I was in such poor shape.

    One day my world was turned upside down:

    I was put in the family car,

    Then as we drove away I saw the town

    Disappear in the distance, far.

    Through the car window

    I smelled the wind blow

    Strange odors through the air,

    Having no way of knowing

    Of where I was going

    Or what I would find when there.

    As we rode along I developed a scare

    Of the strange smell of horse and cow.

    Unaware when I finally got there

    That I’d moved to the country now.

    And countryside

    Far and wide

    I would now be allowed to roam

    To catch the sun’s ray’s

    All the summer days

    From the yard of my new home!

    But when summer passed

    Then winter hit

    And again I couldn’t go out.

    From my window seat I would sit

    And stare all about

    At the snow and sleet

    That fell in sheets

    In a constant pour.

    It was plain

    I was captive again

    And trapped inside once more.

    But eventually the cold snow and rain

    Let up and out came the sun.

    Into the great outdoors

    I’d go again;

    Into the fields I would soon run!

    For the snow was near gone

    And a new lawn

    Was starting to appear!

    But little did I know

    I would have to go

    Through this every year.

    Again, thank you everyone, and to the people who said I should keep the cats, you are right. The owner of my apartment complex told me not too long ago that I had to find new homes for my cat family since I live in a very small unit is his apartment complex, but he’s not that bad a guy and I bet after he finds out what happened he’ll let me keep them. And thank you to the person who said I should have the cats spayed and neutered, you are of course correct. There is an organization called the Feral Cat Alliance that I plan to seek assistance from which performs free surgeries for lower income individuals. The people who abandoned these animals were not responsible pet owners, but I am definitely going to be.

    #466017
    Avatar of katthays
    katthays
    Participant

    SAS, that was a LOVELY poem! You should share more with us and others! And if you could keep the cats or just one, I do think it would be a great source of comfort and company for you!

    #466018
    Avatar of Annie R
    Annie R
    Participant

    SAS, I love your poem, I can just imagine that is exactly what an inside kitty is thinking when he/she is looking out the window ;o) Thanks for sharing your poem with us…. TDK is a great place to post and share, the folks here are very caring and full of great advice and perspectives. I am hoping that your landlord will see fit to let you keep your kitties, they are such great company. I am sending good vibes your way for that to happen. I have two cats myself, they are so awesome I can’t imagine being without them, if you click on my profile you can see their Catster pages. Welcome to the litter and keep us posted on how you are doing.

    #466019
    Avatar of Karenopa
    Karenopa
    Participant

    SAS…..It is with much sadness that you come to our ever growing family at TDK and so many of us have arrived in this very same manner, seeking understanding and peace. We’ve all found it here and so have you. Our Lord works in mysterious ways. Your poem is so outstanding……thank you so much for sharing it. I pray that you will continue to share your works with us….We love poetry!!!! God Bless you for caring for these innocent cats who chose you to be a part of their world. If it’s not a burden to feed and care for them, I don’t think a better home is anywhere out there. Sending prayers to uplift you and give you courage in all the choices you find ahead. {{{{{SadandSorry}}}}

    #466020
    Avatar of Jeankit
    Jeankit
    Participant

    Prayers for you at this sad time…special blessings too for you chose to care for a little kitcat whose time to leave for the Rainbow Bridge was early in its earthly life.+Peace+

    #466021
    Avatar of sadandsorry
    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your kind words and thoughts. I’ve felt so isoltaed for so long. I don’t post on other websites, but I will continue to talk to you, my new family. I am a better singer songwriter than I am a poet and have written many Christian songs but have never shared them with anyone either. Many beautiful songs the Lord has given to me; it is time I shared them. I’m not tech savvy at all and this is new to me, but I am glad to have the advice I receive. I haven’t explored this website at all, but I will after this. Pretty much the only things I use the my computer for are to store my poems, Google searches of subjects I’m interested in and email to my mom, who has written a whole bunch of haiku poems, almost all of them only about cats so you can see where I get my love for animals.

    Another short poem

    Touch Mama cats little kits

    And I bet she’ll shred your hand to bits.

    Touch her babies without her permission

    And you’ll be needing a physician

    Pick one up if she resisits

    And you’ll need an anesthitist.

    Try to take one if you dare;

    I’ll visit you in intensive care.

    I wrote that one less than a week after Mama and babies came to live with me since Mama clawed and bit the heck out of my hand when I first brought her and her babies inside my apt when they were abandoned. I forgave her since I knew she was just being a good mother and didn’t know who was PICKING UP HER BABIES! Maybe this little kitten was an angel in disguise who in her passing is helping me become connected to the outside world. But I’m still devestated that I caused her so much pain, albeit unintentional.

    #466022
    Avatar of Jeankit
    Jeankit
    Participant

    Your creativity should be shared…have you ever contacted the K-Love Christian radio network…perhaps they would have some leads for you…

    #466023
    Avatar of Karenopa
    Karenopa
    Participant

    LOL…I loved that one too! Ahhhh..the words and wisdom of experience speak! Good job! Those mama cats are indeed ferocious….no doubt about it! =) Since you’re new to the site you probably don’t know that if you click on our avatar picture, many of us have a Catster page on another site that will show you all of our cats. Like parents of children….we all love to show off our babies pics! I’m really happy that you’ve found us and hope you’re here to stay. There’s so much to be learned and witnessed among of family. =)

    Oh..and when you’re finished looking at the pics…just hit your big back-up arrow at the top to find your way back here.

    #466024
    Avatar of ailuromaniac
    ailuromaniac
    Participant

    Don’t hide that light under a basket. You are a gifted poet which always extends to being a gifted lyracist. Send them to publications and keep sending them. Poetry Mags may not pay much. You may also get your music published.

    You do not want to be another Emily Dickinson.

    #466025
    Avatar of MadcatwomanintheUK
    MadcatwomanintheUK
    Participant

    Ha ha ha! Loved the second poem (and the first one too, but the second made me laugh out loud!)

    Welcome to TDK SAS, Im so pleased you’ve found us, but desperately sad over the circumstances. You’ll get a lot of support from TDK, and have a lot of fun too.

    #466026
    Avatar of SylMiaFelixsMomma
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    I am truly sorry for your loss but as others have said, it was an accident. It is obvious that you are a responsible and caring person to take on this cat family. Hope all works out for you.

    #466027

    So sorry for the accident–these things happen, and has nothing to do with your disability. Glad you decided to keep them, your love is so important. Your poetry is amazing, keep it up! And welcome to this loving community!

    #466028
    Avatar of corzak
    corzak
    Participant

    Welcome, sadandsorry, and I’m sorry it is under these circumstances that we “meet.” First, let me say how sorry I am to hear about the loss of your kitten. Please don’t beat yourself up over it. And, I’m sorry you had such a bad experience calling TBN. I have found that some people just do not understand how important animals are to people like us. How sad that they would be so cold to someone reaching out in anguish. Please continue to post here…especially your poems! They are great.

    #466029
    Avatar of nawlins-catmom
    nawlins catmom
    Participant

    The poems were wonderful… You should try sending one in to the various cat mags out there! Best of luck with the landlord and the spay/neuter process! You are an angel for taking care of the kits when they were dumped. Bless you! BTW, here is a link to the “Rainbow Vridge” we have mentioned, in case you have not seen it… http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

    #466030
    Avatar of kittymom
    kittymom
    Participant

    Welcome to TDK, SS. I’m so sorry about the accident ~ please don’t blame yourself, these things can happen. I enjoyed your poems, they’re so creative; you really should try getting them published!

    Do you have names for your kitties?

    I lit a candle for your sweet baby here:

    http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/message.cfm?l=eng&cid=8877792

    You can meet my kitties by clicking on my avatar picture which will take you to thier catster pages.

    #466031
    Avatar of sadandsorry
    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Thank you everyone for your words of hope. I have never felt so supported in my life. This is not an exaggeration; it is unusual for me to have this many people care for me. I have no extended family that I have ever met. Aunts, Uncles & cousins are unknown to me and the immediate family I grew up with have moved far away. The remarks on my poems have encouraged me to attend a poetry workshop in Venice, Ca. A long bus ride, but it will definitely be worth it. And Kittymom, thanks for the candle; I will always have this on my computer and will think of the kitten and all the wonderful people I have met through this website when I see it. And as for Mama cat and her kittens, I had resisted naming them since I was told by my landlord that I could not keep them. I should say here that before I took in Mama and babies I already had one cat who is a neutered tom named Scooter who is almost 10 years old. It was only He and I before I took in the other cats and he is still not happy with the situation: he wants me all to himself. (But at least he is not as bent out of shape as he was when they first arrived) Now, I should name them: even if my landlord tells me that he will not allow me to keep them here, I will name them anyway. Sometime within the next few days I will find names that fit these kitties. My mom, (who moved from California to the state of washington), and I stay in constant email touch. Since she is now deaf, she cannot hear well enough to have a phone conversation even with a cochlear implant. Email has proven to be a Godsend for both of us, since we mainly just have each other to communicate with. She is a long time cat lover and has written many haiku with cats the main subjects of her musings. I told her of the lovely group of people I met and sent an attachment of the beautiful sensitive posts you have all sent to me. She now wants to become involved with you too. I told her that you would love to read her cat haiku, of which there are many. My mom and I both live isolated lives, for different reasons, and we both need to branch out. What a great group of people to break our isolation!

    #466032
    Avatar of Catfancier
    Catfancier
    Participant

    Welcome SAS! I am so sorry to hear about your kitten. These things happen sometimes and this is not your fault. God works in mysterious ways and through this tragedy he has helped you find us. You are very kind hearted for taking in the momma and her kittens. God bless you.

    I read your poems and they brought a smile to my face! I especially love the one about the momma cat protecting her young.

    We would love to have your Mom appart of our TDK family. :)

    #466033
    Avatar of cathi in nc
    cathi in nc
    Participant

    Welcome to TDK! I’m sorry that it was this situation that brought you to the fluffiest place on the web and I’m very sorry about your loss SadAndSorry, but as everyone has stated already, it was an accident. {{{hugs}}}

    The poems are great, by the way! I loved them both.

    #466034
    Avatar of kaylynsueg
    KaylynSueG
    Participant

    I am so sorry for your loss, but as everyone has already said, it was an accident. Please don’t feel any regret or blame yourself for what happened, we are only human, and accidents will happen. My Uncle Bob had a similar accident with one of his Maltese Suzie’s puppies a few years ago. He accidentally stepped on her, and he felt terrible for the longest time, even though I know my Aunt Sandy and their dog Suzie didn’t blame him for what happened.

    I’m sure he doesn’t blame you either, and is waiting up on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge to greet you some day. In the meantime, he hopes you will take good care of his family and find them wonderful homes should you choose to.

    The poems are wonderful, excellent job.

    #466035
    Avatar of kittymom
    kittymom
    Participant

    SS, this site is open to all kitty lovers. Just email your mom the link and have her sign up! We’d love to read her kitty haiku ;-) Have fun at the poetry workshop. Venice is such a fun, quirky place, I’m sure you’ll enjoy your day!

    #466036
    Avatar of sadandsorry
    sadandsorry
    Participant

    Hi to all: I want to say again how much of a help you have been to me. The tears still flow for the poor kitty, but only intermittently now instead of continuously. The two remaining kittens are still friendly as before, but it seemed to me that they were very skittish when I walked past them this evening. Maybe they know what happened or perhaps I’m projecting my guilt onto them.

    My mom is having difficulty accessing this website. Something about the password not being accepted. It’s probably human error since neither of us are tech savvy. My mom is a brilliant person who went directly into the third grade when applying for kindergarten. She already knew how to read and understood many basic math skills. She was chief lab tech in a hospital for years after graduating college but quit at the top of her carreer to become an artist who mastered in drawing, pen and ink, calligraphy, batique, silk-screeing, ceramics, jewelry making, and metal work in the form of a business she started where she made hand made cookie cutters which she sold at the Reniassance Pleasure Faire in Agoura, California. (I’m sure I’m forgetting a few of her disciplines) She would be able to have more success with her computer if she had instruction, just as I would. Also, both of us are operating ancient computers that just can’t do the things the new ones can do. She asked me to send you guys a poem I wrote specifically to her. She actually asked me to write a poem about a problem she was having with her cat, that Sparky would never let her work on her computer, always insisting that my mom sit and hold Sparky’s paws instead of typing on the computer. She also asked me to send you one of her haiku as well as some that I have written.

    Here is what I came up with for her:

    Kitty’s Lament

    I need to work on my computer

    While kitty says, “I bet I’m cuter

    Than anything you might see there,

    So why do you just sit and stare?

    Pay attention to me now:

    Pet me, scratch me, feed me chow!

    Don’t just sit there and ignore;

    Don’t you love me any more?

    I must try to get between

    You and your computer screen!

    You must hold my paws, my friend,

    So that you will comprehend

    That I will do what I must do

    To finally get through to you.

    And at last I’ll make you see

    You must never ever ignore me!

    My cat Scooter gives me a little trouble as far as my computer is concerned too, but of a different variety. My mom’s cat literally stops her from typing, while my fat tomcat insists that there is only one chair in the house that he can use, and of course, it’s the computer chair. I could chuck him off it of course, but he cries so miserably when I put him in another chair that to avoid the problem I simply try to fit both of into the same chair, though it’s a tight squeeze.

    Here is one of the many haiku she has written that she asked me to send:

    Schulcz notwithstanding,

    Happiness is a warm kitten

    So says mycat.

    My mom is going to try again tomorrow to log on to The Daily Kitten and talk dierctly with you wonderful people. If she still can’t get it done, she wants me to send more of her haiku poems for her and I agreed. Since she wrote volumes of haiku poems I thought I’d try a few of my own and here is one of them:

    My kitty attacks

    viciously mauling, shredding

    A fierce paper bag.

    I have also written a number of English sonnets, but none about cats unfortunately. I’ll work on one. Again thank you for the encouragement, comfort and feeling of family that you have provided. You have all earned your heavenly crowns!

    #466037

    {{{SAS}}}

    #466038
    Avatar of metsa
    metsa
    Participant

    I’m very sorry about what happened to your kitten but, as everyone else has said, it was a tragic accident. Please try to forgive yourself, you are doing a wonderful thing in helping the mama and kittens. Also it is nice to meet you and read your poems, and I look forward to your mum posting too. And it’s usual for us cat servants to have to go out of our way and be uncomfortable so we don’t inconvience our little darlings :).

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