HEY KARIN

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JenniferSigman

Member

“Only going to visit mutual friend to find out what hubby thinks he has to take me to court.”

Karin. DON’T. Just don’t. OK? Don’t go.

Posted 9 minutes ago # Report

AMEN

As my mom would say, “USE YOUR HEAD FOR SOMETHING BESIDES A HAT RACK”! The mutual FIEND (I know exactly which word I typed here) can send copies of these so-called claims against you.

Stay away from the flames.

Karin, lots of good advice there.

Please heed it, and use Instinct. He is willing and will be a good back.

We are all concerned and pulling for you.

Take care, and if you need to pull your internet connection, keep us informed through Instinct.

Positive energy to you and your babies.

Hugs and purrs.

Extortion is a crime, not sure what level though. Any alien in this country can be arrested and deported for crimes. Might do some internet detective work on that one before you meet with the lawyer so he can confirm what you find out. Is it possible that if you tell that to the “fiend”, the court thing may go away?

Karin, if your husband married you for a green card, that is ILLEGAL!!!! If you want the number for someone to call and to report this too, let me know…I am on my way to work in about an hour…will be there by midnight MST (which is the same time as yours)…if you have been duped into this marriage for this reason, you will not be the one in legal trouble so don’t let that be a hinderance. If you husband and/or his ‘fiend’ are trying to extort you in any way that is also ILLEGAL and can be turned in to law enforcement, to include possibly the FBI. If they have went so far as to set up a file on you and have tapes to use as evidence, hon, you are not, repeat not safe to meet with either of them. Sorry if I sound harsh or as if I am trying to scare you but it scares me from what I have been reading of this situation.

Karin, sounds like you’re still trying to be the reasonable person intent on working out a mutual solution, and I’m concerned that this might be a situation where that could cost you.

Okay, now that I’ve said that.

If you feel you must meet with the “fiend,” then please do it in a building with lots of dedicated and highly-trained security staff around, such as your local City Hall, outside a police or fire station, in a big bank with lots of tellers, the lobby of an expensive hotel, or (if there’s one nearby) a really high-end jewelry store or at the jewelry counter of a high-end store. Station yourself so that you’re within the security people’s direct line of sight.

If it’s in the lobby of an expensive hotel, arrive early. Even if you’re not usually out-going, exchange pleasantries with every staff member you pass. Buy a snack or non-alcoholic drink. That makes _you_ their customer. Finish it before he arrives so that he’s not likely to get himself something at seeing the social cue of your eating.

If you can’t manage someplace with a lot of professional security staff, go at least for a place where there are some kind of security staff. A building lobby, anything like that.

And bring at least one friend. If the friend and you can both wear business or semi-business clothing, do so. That makes you look more “respectable” and sad but true, people tend to assume the better-dressed person is in the right if anything comes to a physical or verbal tussle.

Ann F and ppearson make some great points. Karin, I’m sorry you’re in this situation, but if you use your head and exercise some healthy skepticism, you’ll come out of this okay. A very good rule of thumb, at this point, is NO meetings other than in public places, and NO meetings unless you have at least one friend with you (to act as a witness, if needed). Ann F’s suggestion of meeting in places that have security personnel is a very, very good idea.

Do not feel threatened or coerced. If he threatens to take you to court, LET HIM. He’s got nothing that will stand up in court, and judges are NOT amused by people who bring frivolous lawsuits to their courtroom; a waste of the judge’s time and the court’s money.

Karin: You have been given very good advice. You are an intelligent woman who has shown kindness and compassion. Now is the time to show common sense.

If you insist on meeting with the mutual, bring some large and bulky friends and meet in a very public area. I am frightened for you. Do you honestly expect this individual to give you the originals? Have the court collect them for you, or an attorney.

Do not keep in contact with dangerous people. Your husband and his friend are dangerous.

AnnF, MerD, Jennifer, Jo, ArtistaBobbi, Ailuromaniac — they are all giving you solid suggestions and information. Please take it. We don’t want you to turn into a statistic or something on CNN because you want to do the fair thing.

Honey, I DO want to scare you. This has the potential for disaster.

Sweetie, quit worrying about the tapes. They may be considered illegal if you did not grant permission to be recorded.

Also, please remember, in the hands of a good audio guy, the tapes can be altered to the point where it sounds like you’re claiming to have a mad passion for a hamster named Britteny, so quit worrying. Let the lawyers handle it. And let them handle the two creeps, Ex and Fiend. The creeps are trying to scare you, to intimidate you, to mess with your mind, and to paralyze you into not doing anything.

You just don’t need this in your life right now. You need safety, and peace, and a new place to live. Shut them out and get the stuff done. Get a lawyer (a free one will be happy to help any abused woman).

And we are all praying for you! (Hope I haven’t come across too bossy, but this situation reminded me so much of my first marriage.)

Much love,

Emma

Karin, everything that has been said to you makes sense and one more thing…

You might want to make a call to INS and find out what issues they have with YOU since you went into the marriage believing it to be a “real” marriage. From what I have read here, the “hubby fiend” and the “mutual fiend” have been using you and that is wrong no matter how you look at it.