having trouble adjusting

Because your kitten was found along a road, I assume she was a feral. It sounds like she’s made a good transition into your home. I have never had a feral kitty but I understand that they can be more standoffish than kittens who’ve been socialized from birth. It may take her longer to accept being touched. These may be holdover survival skills she learned. I know there are websites that talk about socializing feral cats and kittens. Try googling for some information.

There are many experienced cat caregivers here at TDK. I’m sure you will get lots of useful information. Keep posting!!

BTW: Are there other cats/dogs in your home? Any small children? What is your kitten’s name?

Nan, welcome to TDK, Sheena may come to like being held but then again she may be one of those kitties that never likes to be picked up and snuggled or just held. Its the same as some people like being hugged and touched (along the arms and whatever) and some would rather not have anyone that close. Its not that she doesn’t like you, she shows that by crawling into your lap when she desires. I have one older cat, Max who is 14 yrs old, that whenever I reach down to pet him, he shys away like I am going to hit him. I adopted/rescued him @ 8 yrs old and have never said anything bad to him, nor have I ever shown any sort of attempt to hit him in any way….it may have been something that happened to him before he came into my house, or it could have been that he was bullied by other animals/humans and has never gotten over it. I pet him when he chooses to put his head or part of his body near my hand(s), its on his terms and he is fine with that. So just hang in there and know that they have just as many personality traits and as complex as we humans have 😀

Nan,

She may eventually get to the point where you can pet her and scratch her, but she may not like being held. I have 3 former ferals. The first two were sisters that we took in at about 20 weeks. They are both very loving and love to be scratched, but one of them still does not want to be held. In fact, we’ve had a heck of a time getting her to the vet. We can’t grab her to get her in the carrier. She still loves to be petted and scratched. The other sleeps out in the open, but Dippy hides to sleep. This is left over feral behavior.

The 3rd feral was more than six months old when we took him in, yet you can hold him and rub his tummy and he loves it. Just a matter of different experiences and different personalities.

Don’t give up though. Little by little they can relax more and get to trust you more.

Ferrule only snuggles with me. and even that is on his terms. When we watch TV, he likes to sit beside me on the couch. He demands his morning belly rub, and wants my undivided attention if we are in the home office. He’s been with us a year and a half and is still afraid of my husband. Two weeks ago when we were sick though, he actually crawled up in his lap. Just be patient with Sheena. Ferals take extra time, but they are worth it.

Hi Nan, I know this is driving you crazy. We’re going through it ,too. When we adopted Bo last April we wound up getting Smidgeon when we took him to his meet ‘n’ greet with the vet. (Our vet is very very evil. He dumps all his rescues with us.) She is a tiny Maine Coon impersonator and CatRancher, who used to breed them, has taught me, much against my will, that some of them aren’t cuddly. 10 months later she still runs if we reach for her, but suddenly learned to squeak demanding that I pick her up. That’s good for 10-30 seconds. Then she wriggles down. She’s a beast and we couldn’t love her any harder than we do. And night before last she stood on my chest in the middle of the night mashing my face with her paws. She’s a weird one. Hang in there. This is our first “catch-me-if-you-can” cat. All the others are “aggressively affectionate” according to ur daughters.

Keep persevering,Nan. It sounds like she’s coming around slowly but surely! You’re doing a good job with her and you’ll only find the best advice here on meezer maintanence. Welcome to TDK too!! I see you’ve joined us only this week.

Welcome to the fold, as it were. 😉

Former ferals and shelter babies just take a while to ditch the emotional baggage and start cuddling more. Some of them never fully take to cuddling, but all of them will defrost if given time and affection — and space.

A friend of mine had a former feral who finally got on her lap after four years of quiet affection and lots of food.

My Ruggles now likes being held and hugged, but it took two long years. He had a horrible experience as a kitten, and now he is a sweet, big friendly lover.

My other kitty Rotley is a velcro cat unless he is in a snit. When aggravated with mankind or me (there were noises outside, I didn’t feed him his treats fast enough, he saw me petting Ruggles, etc.), he will dance just beyond range, sneering slightly and daring me to try to pet him. Then I will go to sleep for the night and awake toward morning with him curled in my arms, one paw on my face.

Kittens are like little kids, and some of them have been through bad times. Hang in there and just love her. And do give her space. Things will get better.