Felix-Do I Keep Him or Adopt Him Out?


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This topic contains 19 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Avatar of LadyValkyrie LadyValkyrie 2 years, 7 months ago.

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  • #48162
    Avatar of SylMiaFelixsMomma
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    Originally when I found Felix on the apartment complex property, my intention was to rescue him. I hadn’t planned on his worming his way into my heart. On the very first day after he had been to the emergency vet and I had brought him home and fed him very first taste of kitten food, after he had eaten, he climbed on to me and purring, nuzzling and head bonking my chin. He showed me how grateful he was. It is now a little over two weeks and Felix had been staying in my bathroom. Each morning I feed, clean his litter box and play with him and each night I do that again. In the past week I have put up a plexiglas babygate that he can see out and my cats can see in. Mia growls and hisses at him a lot. Her growls gett stronger and stronger as she observes Felix. Sylvester at first just looks at Felix but he has hissed a number of times and last night he growled. This is the first time I have heard Sylvester growl (he didn’t do this went I brought Mia home). My big mello Tuxi boy was clearly upset. I love little Felix and I really want to keep him but the upheaval in my household has me wondering if I should look into finding Felix a new home. It isn’t fair to Sylvester and Mia to have them so upset plus it concerns me that they may do Felix harm. I do not feel it is fair to Felix to keep him in the bathroom. Even if I move Felix to my bedroom, I then have to keep Sylvester and Mia out with putting their litter box in a different place. My two adult kitties lives are already so disrupted. Felix is 6 going on 7 weeks old. I can honestly say I do not think I want to go through the kitten crazies. Yeti know that if I adopt him out, I will always wonder if I made the right decision giving him up and will wonder if he is happy wherever he may be. I know that I can try calling around to the rescue groups just to see if anyone would even take Felix.

    Some of you may be wondering why after I said I would keep Felix, that I am now thinking about giving him away. Well after discussing Felix with my Dad, he said I don’t need this upheaval as well as it isn’t fair to my two adult cats. I felt my Fad had a valid point that has me reevaluating the situation. So I welcome all comments and suggestions. sorry for any typos- I typed this on my iPhone.

    #696213
    Avatar of debsterwiz
    debsterwiz
    Participant

    Good morning SMFM! I vote to keep the little guy. Your adult cats are just defending what they feel is there territory. I suggest you get some feliway working thru the house to calm them down. Introduce Felix slowly, an hour or two at a time.

    Once the adults see he is no threat, they will come around. I have found that the kitties that are rescued off the street are the ones who will show you everyday how grateful they are.

    I know that whatever you decide to do, Felix is very lucky for your intervention at this point in his life. You saved him and he knows it.

    #696214
    Avatar of katenugget
    Katenugget
    Participant

    Well I know the feeling my oldest cat I have had for 16 years gets highly upset with new kittens in the house and she treats me like crap and I will try to spoil her to show her that I love her but she always feels betrayed. There has been numberous animals in and out during her life time you would think she is used to it, but she wants mommy all to herself.

    What has happened now I have moved in with my boyfriend he has two cats and I recently found a baby kitten she gets upset with all of the cats and she has moved herself out on the screened porch where she is happy and alone. She meows and begs for me to go out and love on her and i do so. She is happy as long as she is alone and with me. But she is 16 and does not have many years left on her so I will keep the baby kitty. I just make sure to show her I love her.

    My suggestion would be to see if you can give your cats their own space where they can share it among theirselves and u. Maybe with time they will adapt to the kitty if not you know what to do. Just remember to love your older cats before the little one or at least show them that when they are around. Cats are very hard to emotionally work with.

    #696215
    Avatar of SylMiaFelixsMomma
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    I forgot to mention I have a feliway plugin in the bedroom and have sprayed feliway on my cats kitty castle and around the door to the bathroom where Felix is living. I really want to him but I just feel that right now is a bit too much. I am always late tO work now and am concerned with the impact it could have there. I have brought Felix out holding while my two cats sniff him a number of times always with one of the cats hissing and growling. Even if I kept Felix, how do I allow my cats their continued freedom without the worry they might harm Felix? Mia has already shown aggression with her growls and hissing. No one has put out a paw to scratch but who knows..that could happen. I don’t want to come home to a badly injured kitten.

    #696216
    Avatar of KYKAT 12 23
    KYKAT 12 23
    Participant

    I know that you love little Felix, but finding him a good home may be the best option for him. Post a notice at work, if you can, and see if a co-worker will adopt him. That way you will be able to get regular reports and pictures. If Mia and Syl are getting more and more aggresive then they are telling you in the only way they know how that they do not want to share you with Felix. It wouldn’t be fair to him or them to set up seperate zones for them to live in forever.

    #696217
    Avatar of ecbrown
    ecbrown
    Participant

    I think the “not wanting to go through kitten crazies” would weigh more heavily than Sylvester and Mia growling at him. I honestly think (from my experience) that there is no good way to introduce an new animal on a “trial basis”….just to see how it will go because (again, in my experience) it always looks like it is going to be a disaster. If either of my two additions had been a “let’s see how it goes, maybe we’ll keep them” we wouldn’t have kept them….the hissing and growling were awful. But now they are friends and most likely your three would learn to be too, especially once they started spending unbarracaded time together. With enough supervised visits you could gage when you felt safe leaving Felix alone with them.

    If you decide to find a home for him, I bet you could find a great one. Maybe the other foster moms here would have good ideas for finding a home for him. I know Craig’s list has worked for some. Also, I wonder if you could work with the Humane Society or something and take him to one of their adoption events.

    I forgot to add….I remember how time consuming it is to have one in isolation and to have to take the time to spend with them. That is so rough. Sorry it’s interfering with getting to work on time.

    #696218
    Avatar of ulichka4
    Ulichka4
    Participant

    This is always a hard decision, but I think you should wait it out a little longer. At 6-7weeks, Felix is still very tiny and may be better off in his own little place… but after about 8 weeks, you can start letting him out to spend some time with your other cats. There will be a lot of growling at first, but that is something that almost always happens. It is possible that after some time, your older kitties will accept him, but little Felix does have to show himself off to them first lol. Has anyone tried rubbing one of their cats toys on the mouth/whiskers of the new addition and then giving it back to the older ones to sniff out so that they get used to the new smell? I heard this can work

    #696219
    Avatar of SylMiaFelixsMomma
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    Ulichka4, I haven’t tried that yet but have read that if I take a t-shirt that has my smell on it, rub it first on Felix and then rub my two cats with it and then have each cat sniff the shirt. I did take one of my big kitties toys for Felix to play with and tonight I was going to see if Sylvester (black/white tuxedo) or Mia (grey tabby) will play with it.

    I can honestly say I really do not want to give up Felix as he has shown me so much affection but my two cats come first. Sylvester is now 6 yrs and Mia is 4 yrs and they are both pretty much beyond the kitten crazies. Mia maintained her kittenish behavior up until maybe the last month or so and seems to be settling more into more of being a cat and less of a crazy kitten but she still likes to tip over a glass of water so I have learned I cannot leave mine out or she will climb up and stretch with claws out on the TV if she wants my attention to play. Other than those two endearing qualities of Mia’s, my cats are pretty much mellowed out. The one time Sylvester growled was when I was holding Felix last night.

    I will try calling around to some rescue groups to see if they even have room as most are full up with kittens and abandoned cats. When I found Felix, I left messages with two different rescue groups but never heard back. As for the Humane Society, unfortunately more than likely they would have put Felix to sleep as they usually don’t take on young kittens as they take too much time and work. This was confirmed by the emergency vet.

    So I will wait another week or two and see how things progress.

    #696220
    Avatar of ecbrown
    ecbrown
    Participant

    When I mentioned the Humane Society I meant Felix living with you as his foster home and maybe they could let you attend adoption events…sort of them helping you find him a home by avenues they already have set up. I know ours here has events at Petsmart. I don’t know if that sort of cooperation exists, but it sure would be nice if it did.

    #696221
    Avatar of gd
    GD
    Participant

    The worst thing for me when I got Milo was that he had to live in quarantine in the bathroom for two weeks because he was sick. He required extra attention, reasurrance and special foods and meds. And then there was Bobby who needed attention, reassurance and love, too. I was exhausted and felt like I wasn’t being fair to either cat since I didn’t have enough time to spend with them. So I understand how you feel now, but understand that sooner or later, Felix can come out of the bathroom and that’ll make things so much easier! As for his safety, what I did with Milo (even after they started getting along) was to leave him in the bathroom while I was away, for another few weeks. I then gradually started leaving them both out while I ran a short errand, etc. and didn’t leave them together until I felt I could trust them both.

    As for the kitten crazies – Bobby was a terror! Milo was not. You know why? Because he had Bob to play with. Felix would have both Sylvester and Mia to play with and to tire him out. Honestly, I don’t even remember Milo having the crazies at all.

    Have tou tried putting Felix in a closed carrier and brought him put to Sylvester and Mia so they can get a bit more up close with him? If you do, maybe introduce him to one of them at a time so it’s less frightening for him.

    And I would suggest you don’t wait too long to introduce them in the same roo

    The smaller and seemingly harmless Felix looks to them, the easier I believe it’ll be.

    And last but not least: keep him!!!!!

    #696222
    Avatar of kiplings_cat
    Kiplings_cat
    Participant

    My guys take awhile to get used to the fosters. Some they get more used to than others; Simon just left ~5wks and he and Catkin occasionally shared the (human) bed but he and Willow hissed and pawed at each other. Simon was less submissive than Winston, so more disputes. Have you tried putting treats by the Plexiglass so that they eat in each others’ presence? Willow is so food-motivated that she will ignore ANYTHING as long as it doesn’t get between her and her food.

    Anyway, two weeks is not long, and I think it would be better for Felix if he had a little more time to grow up and learn to interact a little with the other cats. If you have to find him a new home when he is a little older, then by finding him an appropriate home you have given him a much better life than he would have had trying to eke out a living on the streets.

    #696223
    Avatar of CheetahBoysmommy
    CheetahBoysmommy
    Participant

    How old do you think Felix is now? Unless you find someone you are completely comfortable will continue babying him for a while, I would wait until he is at least 12-13 weeks old to make a decision. He should stay with his mama, human or feline, until that age anyway. You may find out that Mia and Sylvester have calmed down by then. You may also find that having a kitten in the house brings out the playfulness in your older two.

    When you are home in the evening do you put Mia and Sylvester in the bathroom for a while and let Felix roam? That will help acclimate them to each other. Feeding the older cats outside the little one’s door helps too, as it lets them know that the new one isn’t going to cut into their food supply.

    #696224
    Avatar of 2 Popoki
    2 Popoki
    Participant

    Do you remember all my ‘drama’ when I brought Mili into the house? Oh my word, I thought the 2 would NEVER get along. It was a l o n g process. To this day – over 3 years later – Chloe will still growl and hiss and swat at Mili. Mili just looks at her like “what did I do?” They play, but they are not cuddle buddies. Chloe, I think, would still prefers to be alone.

    I say if you can afford all 3 – keep Felix :)

    #696225
    Avatar of Buttercup
    Buttercup
    Participant

    A new addition always causes some trouble in the hierarchy. As Felix is a kitten he will acclimate better into your crew than an adult cat,you will need to shower Sebastian and Mia with attention which I’m sure you do anyway. If you’re unsure and you want to check the waters to see if there’s a home for him maybe you could put his picture at your vet. I would stay away from CL,they want free kittens and in my experience resent any implications that they should need further care much less neuter/spay. Maybe try posting in petfinder and see but I doubt you’re going to find anyone near your(all of our) standards to raise Felix. I may be wrong. Just my 2 cents.

    IMO Felix has found his home and picked his wonderful person already. :)

    #696226
    Avatar of SylMiaFelixsMomma
    SylMiaFelixsMomma
    Participant

    I really appreciate all of you taking the time to comment and make suggestions. Your reassurances and sharing of your experiences is helping me a lot. Believe me, I really want to keep Felix but I have to do what is best for all three cats.

    CBM, based on estimates from the vet, Felix was 5 weeks on 9/11 so as of this past weekend he is 7 weeks old. When he hits 8 weeks, I will schedule his first round of vaccinations. He has grown a little but not much so he still looks really small. I totally agree with you on making it so he has a chance to get use to living with me as his hoomin and staying for at least another 4-5 weeks till he is around 12 weeks. I really don’t want to give him up and what has me thinking about that option is how tired I am with trying to take care of a baby cat’s needs (needing a lot more reassurance and attention till he gets use to living with me and my two cats) in addition to trying to reassure my two cats that I still love them. If I was to keep Felix, I would hope that my two cats in time would at least tolerate him and possibly even play with him wearing him out so I don’t go through the kitten crazies. I went through them with my first cat Whiskers and with Sylvester because both of them were alone when they were kittens and no one to wear them out but me.

    Last night I felt overwhelmed with all the change and being exhausted with having to figure out things with no one’s help and then to have my Dad telling me how I didn’t need another cat. I love my Dad very much but he doesn’t understand my love of my cats and how much of a bond I have with them. I believe he thinks they are a burden and that I don’t need to add another kitty to my home. He seems to think that I can just post an ad on Craig’s List offering a free cat for adoption (I had to explain the pitfalls of doing this and he still didn’t understand). My Dad is a dog lover and even though he doesn’t tell me this, I don’t think he really likes cats that much. He tolerated them because my Mom said to him before he married her that she and her two cats were a packaged deal. So his comments, my being so tired and overwhelmed and with Sylvester growling for the first time ever along with Felix bouncing off the walls in the bathroom had me thinking that may be it would be best to find Felix a new home. I shed some tears over the thought of giving him up and how much I would miss his loving little face.

    I do recall that when I saw videos of Mia playing with cats much bigger than her in her foster home and how rough they were with her, she was able to learn to be a very tough little kitty. This is possibly why she is so untrusting when she came to live with me. When I introduced Mia to Sylvester there wasn’t any way to separate them as my bathroom in my bedroom was tiny (just enough room for a stall shower, sink and a toilet) and no way could I have kept Mia sequestered in the bathroom at that time. Mia hissed and growled at Sylvester and Sylvester just looked at tiny little Mia like he was thinking what the heck…I was just getting use to being an only cat (almost two years of being an only cat). Mia kept her distance and spent most of the time under the bed but within a week they seemed to be okay with one another. I gave each one lots of love (at least as much as they would tolerate). At various times Sylvester likes to let Mia know Sylvester is the alpha cat. When I brought Felix out, I am sure I heard him say..oh no not again..not another crazy kitten. Sylvester growling maybe his way saying I was here first, you brought in second interloper (Mia being the first interloper) and I am not having it! So I will try the enclosure, taking a t-shirt and rubbing first Felix and then Mia and Sylvester and having all three at different times smell the shirt as well as trying the other options suggested to me here.

    This means, I will reassess the situation in 4-5 weeks and if both my cats are still very upset I will then see what my options are.

    #696227
    Avatar of gd
    GD
    Participant

    Sounds like a good plan, Karin!

    By the way, my two still growl at eachother every now and then when they get annoyed with eachother.

    #696228
    Avatar of CheetahBoysmommy
    CheetahBoysmommy
    Participant

    I think you will feel a little less stressed now that you have a plan and a time line. Just knowing you don’t have to make the decision now should help calm things down. I’m sure the kitties can feel your stress so not only will you feel better now, but so will they.

    We’ve all heard over and over how a new kitten in the house tends to ‘kitten-up’ an older cat. Assuming they learn to get along, you’ll probably find that you come home to happily exhausted cats every day.

    Hard as it sounds, try getting up a little earlier than you need to and get ready for work. Once you are dressed, fed, etc., then you can devote 15-20 minutes just to playing with the cats.

    #696229
    Avatar of pucca
    pucca
    Participant

    All these are great suggestions! I agree keeping the boy till he is at least 10-12 weeks is the way to go. You may find that your cats would miss the little guy if he left!

    Keeo up the Feliway, keep mixing scents. I found a dab of vanilla on each cat’s back of the neck area made them all smell the same and be happy.

    Also, have you tried introducing a treat whenever you bring out Feliz? Toy, catnip, or food. Maybe they will come to associate him with good things!

    #696230
    Avatar of ecbrown
    ecbrown
    Participant

    Your latest post brings back so many feelings from the early days after adopting Leo when he was living in the laundry room. I was tired and discouraged (just having gotten the lab results that confirmed his ringworm) and figured it was time to break the news to my mom that we had adopted a 3rd cat. I knew she wouldn’t approve (and she didn’t.) And that phone call left me even more discouraged.

    We still had to get through some hard times with Leo (including introductions that were typically growly and hissy.) But now, knowing the joy he has added to the mix, I’m so glad we made him a part of the family. He has been such a perfect addition. His playfulness and fun personality have complimented Eko and Emily’s personalities well.

    Some day this hard period will be over and you’ll either be so glad that you added Felix to the mix or you will be satisfied knowing you gave him a great start in life and helped him find a loving home. Like CBM said, hopefully having a plan and timeline in mind will help you relax a little. Bless you for all you are doing for Felix.

    #696231
    Avatar of LadyValkyrie
    LadyValkyrie
    Participant

    Karin, hugs I see this is weighing on ya. I remember when i brought mystie home. max was aggressive in yowls, growls and evening hissing. Remember you came and saw my baby when she was so tiny. I had her in the playpen. Maybe a playpen or sorts will help you let them interact while keeping felix totally safe as well as visible to the other two to get acquainted better. Maybe the behind doors then brought in is causing the issues. if he’s healthy and ready to go I’d try the playpen. it’s big enough to put litter food and water and a place to lay. Also this will help you out if it goe sin your room. Because then no one is getting ousted concenring litter boxes and the such. Just an idea.

    Also I’ve had max 3 years now and mystie 2. Only this summer have they started runnign aorund almsot 24/7 without one getitng detained in the room adn the other in the house. With our scheduels we have been able to relax enough to leave tem unattended for 2 to 3 hours with out worrying over it, because one of us is home and able to step in when needed.

    Also, Max tends to become very play aggressive and sometimes he’s pissy and take sit out my tormenting Mystie. She boxes him and hisses and growls and does the hole posturing and he’s too dominant some days and then they get seperated. Also Mytie has some hidey holes she tends to hide in when she notices max is on the war path.

    I hope concenring Felix you can come up with something to relieve your mind and help you adjust to what ever you choose.

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