Fed up with husband

Karin, what you are going through is mental abuse. Call the local Women’s shelter. They will help you. And remember, we’re here for you. Love Terri

Karin, get out now. There are places that can help and you shouldn’t stay at all. I know bills have you worried and it will make it harder but being free from him is much more important than money.

Brandilee, same thing for you hon, leave. Walk away and live your life. I would rather be broke and free than have money and in a abusive situation.

I wish I had good advice to give, but all I can say is that neither of you deserve (no one in fact deserves) to be treated the way you are being treated.

Well, my class break is over so I have to get back.

Hugs to everyone

Karin, BrandiLee, What your husbands are doing is considered abuse. If you are put-off by calling a women’s shelter, then get on this link for some confidential help:

http://www.ndvh.org/

or just type in “women’s shelters” for free advice an help in your areas.

Take it from someone who got out of an abusive relationship. Life is too short to have some pig rob you of your sanity and happiness! As time goes by you’ll be all used up with nothing left as a person. Don’t waste your time.

I agree with everybody, Karin and Brandilee, please, both of you, try to get out. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help!

Karen and Brandilee,

Have to add my two cents’ worth, too, I also had two failed marriages, though the first was my fault because I married right out of high school, just to get away from home, not for love. I had no love for this man, nor he for me, so that was just chalked up to experience. The second was to an alcoholic, but I had no knowledge of what an alcoholic was. Naive me, I just went out and drank with him. But when I realized that it was his way of life, and it wasn’t mine, things deteriorated. I walked on eggshells not to send him off on a drunken tangent. He always drank outside the home, not coming in until they threw him out of the bars. Then it was MY fault that I was doing this, or not doing that, or wouldn’t “service” him in his drunken state–anything to put the blame on me. I finally joined Al-Anon, and found out it WASN’T my fault, and it was up to me to make the choice-stay or get out! Finally, I chose to leave, hard as it was to go out on my own. But I did it, and I’m the better person for doing it. He has since quit drinking, and is a rather nice person–we still keep in touch, though he lives in Ohio.

So, kids, do what your heart tells you to do, and know that you have a wealth of experience here at TDK to pull from. We’ve got love, friendship, and always a shoulder to cry on.

I have to agree with the others..get out! I wish I had listened to my 2 oldest kids when they told me I needed to leave. I could have done without the 2 years of additional and emotional abuse. But being in love can make you do stupid things.

I also understand the finacial problems involved. Have you thought about a “Do It Yourself” divorce? They have a book on it at Barnes and Nobel. If there are no children involved or property disputes it is not very expensive, in Brandilee’s case the business would be a problem unless you could just walk away. You just have to pay the filling fees.

I wish you both the best of luck and to echo everybodies sentiments you are in my prayers..if you need anything, I’m here and my email is chuck at ip-usa dot net

BrandiLee you situation is a difficult one with all the cats, your kids and the business. I would recommend that you see a lawyer on the sly to find out what your rights and options are. You should definitely take action so that you have money of your own.

Karin, I will continue to keep sending you good thoughts too. Have you looked for temp jobs near your parents? If you could fine one you and the kitty could go there for a visit and just not come back. If they would let you stay for three months you should have enough for a deposit on a place.

Years ago my sister was in a very abusive marriage. She took the mental and verbal abuse for as long as she could, but when he started taking his miserable life out on the kids, (they were both under the age of 4) I helped her to get out. She and the kids left in the middle of the night with not much more than their clothes and enough money for the gas to get them to a family membes house two states away. She started over, re-built her life and today is a happy person with 4 daughters and 4 grandchildren and counts getting out as the best move she ever made for herself and her family.

Karin & brandilee,

My heart goes out to both of you. You all are in such difficult positions, but I agree with everyone else, hard as it might be, scary as it may be, got out!

I went through 2 divorces also. I was married to a workaholic the first time, and fear drove me into my second marriage to an alcoholic, who eventually physically abused my daughter and mentally abused my sons.. I was so adicted to him, that I didn’t leave him at that time, but pushed him into therapy. Ha! He has gone on to other marriages where abuse followed.

So I have been single for 20+ years, fearful of not trusting myself with other relationships in case I should pick the wrong one again.

I know where you both are now, and if there is any way I can help, contact me at artistabobbi AT yahoo DOT com.

Positive and healing energy to you both.

Bless you.

bobbi

Max and Molly’s mom.. your situation so mirrors mine. Married at 18 to get out of the house. 2nd marriage to an alcoholic (functional, but still an alcoholic) and a workaholic.

Karin and Brandilee… you are both in my prayers and thoughts.